Man Has Neighbour Who Knows Better Than The Government About Coronavirus

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 21 March 2020

image for Man Has Neighbour Who Knows Better Than The Government About Coronavirus
Sharon raving about government "lies and misinformation"

A man from Hull has told of how he won't be taking the government's health advice on the Coronavirus too literally, as his next-door-neighbour has told him it's all a load of shite.

Myke Woodson, 56, says that he realises the instructions to keep washing our hands, to use hand-sanitizers, to self-isolate should we show symptoms, and to avoid unnecessary journeys and contact with others, are absolutely fine in principle, but his neighbour, Sharon, told him:

"It's all a big ovver-reaction. A lot of fuss about nowt! Am tellin' yer!"

She also told him that:

"All smoke an mirrors. You mark me words. Just you wait an see, Myke."

Woodson has known Sharon for a little over three months. He said:

"I was really worried about the virus, but Sharon has calmed my nerves. She's been a tower of strength in the community. She's told us all how the politicians spin evil lies and so on. It's good to have her around."

And, according to him, Sharon is not just a bigmouthed, know-it-all, over-the-garden-fence windbag, like a lot of people are. He said:

"She's very deceptive. She's a trained nurse, an economist, a microbiologist, a virologist, and a worldwide pandemic specialist. She had me completely fooled with that Tesco check-out operator's uniform!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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