The United States Government Is Fed Up With The Voter Suppression Antics of Georgia

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 15 December 2021

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Georgia spokeswoman Sally Lulu Suckastick says she's not a racist - but she sure has all the fucking earmarks of one!

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The U.S. government has just issued a mandate to the state of Georgia regarding their recent acts of blatant voter discrimination.

According to Scuttlebutt Review reporter April Jiggle, Georgia has been warned repeatedly about demanding that black voters show at least 7 credit cards in order to cast a vote in state elections.

Miss Jiggle investigated and she found that non-black voters (i.e. Irish-Americans, German-Americans, and Macadamian-Americans) do not need to show any credit cards whatsoever.

A spokesperson for Governor Brian “Peach Face” Kemp commented with a “No Comment” comment.

When asked to elaborate the spokesperson identified as Sally Lulu Suckastick 74, remarked, “Fuck off you Salem witch!”

When Miss Jiggle threatened to bitch slap, the four-time-divorced Suckastick, Sally Lulu stuck her tail between her legs and ran off like the fucking racist whore that, many Georgians know she is.

Meanwhile, Miss Jiggle was told that she is being banned from ever entering the state again.

SIDENOTE: The Scuttlebutt Review has hired the services of famed Left Coast attorney Gloria Allred, who has already filed a $57 million lawsuit against Governor Kemp, spokesperson Sally Lulu Suckastick, and every non-black citizen of the Peach state, on grounds of Flagrante Racisistic Shitaluvis.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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