Strip Club Owner Opens Soho Restaurant - 'Girl's Thighs Marsala' is Popular
The owner of an illicit Soho Strip Club loves to cook. He is combining is two Loves in one business by opening an elegant illegal restaurant in the basement of the building. The young beautiful Strippers, also doubling as waitresses, come to…
Read full storyThe Very Sexy Brit Singer Cheryl Cole Admits That Yes, Prince William Once Had The Hots For Her
LIVERPOOL, England - (Satire News) - Cheryl Cole, who is regarded as one of the most popular celebrities in the United Kingdom, recently sat down with BBC reporter Oceana Figgly at a Liverpool crumpet diner. The two had a very revealing girl-to-gi…
Read full storyNew Chinese Fast Food - the Dogburger - At the Jade Dog Restaurant
The Dogburger is exactly what it sounds like. Here in Los Angeles, people are trying the sandwich out of curiosity. Californians are historically adventurous eaters - Remember the 'Donner Pass' event? Anyway, the Jade Dog is a big commercial…
Read full storyCountry Duo Bubba & Bubba Sing The Hits of Miley Cyrus
CRICKET BALLS, Mississippi - (Music Satire) - Yippee-Ki-Yah Magazine writer Buck Yazoo reports that the very popular southern country duo of Bubba & Bubba, have become one of country music's biggest selling artists (literally). The two natives…
Read full story'Funny Money'- The 'Digital Buck' is Coming your Way
All countries are going to have Digital Currencies in the near Future. China and India already have them. Paper Money - like paper Books and paper Newspapers are on the way Out. Everybody will have to turn in their paper Money. Soon y…
Read full storyThe Reason Why The Continent of Africa Is Suing Donald Trump For $13 Billion
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The Washington Window Tribune has broken the story that the former "Cheating Golfer-in-Chief" (Donald J. Erasmus Trump) is getting his old, wrinkled orange ass sued by the continent of Africa big time!!! Senior W…
Read full storyFanatical Gun Association Wants 5 year Olds Trained - Untapped Market, Huge Potential Profits
A spokesman for the Fanatical Gun Association (FGA) gave a symbolic speech in Pistol, Texas which has a huge gun factory grinding out one AR-15 rifle every 5 seconds. “The U. S. has about 130 million civilian guns and they are still selling like c…
Read full storyJada Pinkett's Biological Father Says That Even As A Child She Was One Arrogant, Sarcastic Little Bitch
BALTIMORE - (Satire News) - Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle has uncovered a very interesting fact. She has learned that the biological father of the self-centered, egotistical, conceited, blowhard, Jada Pinkett Smith has always been full o…
Read full storyVladimir Putin is a Mafia Don
Vladimir Putin Is a shoo-in For this century’s Coming ruin He is Russia’s mafia don Let him kill and he thinks he’s won World War Three is at the door Everybody hit the floor Invade one nation Then one more Vladimir Putin starts a war…
Read full storyHomoerotic Heavy Metal
Whips and chains Going insane Worship the devil Hes on the level Live the taboo Makes a better screw Metal stud Its in your blood Homoerotic heavy metal Boys only Especially if they’re lonely Homoerotic heavy metal Join the cult of the…
Read full storyFuck Bon Jovi
Don’t you dare Play ‘Living on a prayer’ How did he climb to fame With “givin’ love a bad name”? Lame music Just proves it Any doucebag with a guitar Can really go far No counting for taste Just give ‘em a pretty face Lots of white trash…
Read full storyLong Duk Dong is Comin’ On Strong - 16 Candles Tribute
Here’s my tribute to one of the greatest Gen-X characters of all time. He could put all your Marvel heroes to shame! He was a god in his time! All bow down and praise the Great Dong! Long Duk Dong Long Duk Dong Here’s your song Sorry i…
Read full storyOde to Ridgemont High
Phoebe Cates Has nice tits Rising from the pool Gives me the fits Jennifer Jason Leigh In a striped bikini Take her to the changing room Give her a baby Hey bud, its Jeff Spicoli Let’s buy tickets to Cheap Trick Mike Damone is a total p…
Read full story[Song] Pig Cameltoe
She was wearing her tactical pants She don’t say no, she don’t say can’t Utility belt goes where she goes That pretty piggy got the camel toe Blonde braid wrapping her head Where she leads I wanna be led Cuff me and stuff me and call me a per…
Read full story[Song] Goddamn Hippies
Long-haired bastards Free love disaster Psychadelia Yeah we can smell ya Have a shower and shave Learn to fucking behave Start up the Vietnam We’ll send you to your grave [Chorus] Goddamn hippies! They’re so pretty Goddamn hippies! Yipp…
Read full storyGivin’ It to Jesus to Get into Catholic Heaven
Pope Francis needs to know how much all Catholics love Jesus. What will they do to sacrifice for Him, as He has sacrificed for them? Would you do anything your Lord and Messiah says? Or shall ye have doubts? Francis (‘Frank” to his friends) has c…
Read full storyAnonymous Q - Letter in hiding?
Oxford, Webster, Macmillan, Herbie’s Big Book of Big Words … what do they all have in common? They’re all dictionaries. They keep track of all the words you use or haven’t used yet by will some day. And there’s another common factor among them all…
Read full storyElizabeth Arden Cream Used On A Frying Pan…
Julia Childs started it. Martha Stewart followed. Then came the Barefoot Contessa and Giada De Laurentiis. Why not give it a try? Maybe because it's a challenge too far. But so what! Successful cook Gordon Ramsay made flatbread in a five-minute s…
Read full storyPrince Harry threatens to write book about how he was disrespected at BAFTAs (by Prince Harry)
They didn’t invite me to the BAFTAs. It was so unfair. And really not cool. I had, like, been really rad and been in the news and stuff. Plus it was racist, because someone said that one of the folk that was in the committee that made the decision…
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