NRA Supporters Cousin Billy Bob and Cousin Rita Jo Say That Trump Is As Innocent As a Two-Day Old Bitch Puppy
NASTY NOOK, Kentucky - (Satire News) - Daily Dirt reporter Stormy Coin traveled over to the backwoods town of Nasty Nook, which is home to devoted NRA supporters, Billy Bob and Rita Jo Flucksuk. The two are not only kissin' cousins, but they are a…
Read full storyMr. Smuckmeister Goes To Washington
BILLINGSGATE POST: Like Mr. Smith, when he went to Washington in 1939, Elmer Smuckmeister is seen as a naive lightweight and a country bumpkin by almost everyone with whom he comes into contact, including the Washington press corps. But Smuckmeist…
Read full storyPark Rangers In Australia Discover a Mama Kangaroo With A Pocket That Is So Big It Can Easily Hold a Standard-Size Microwave Oven
ELLO, Australia - (Satire News) - Australian park rangers have just come across one of the most amazing kangaroos that they have ever laid eyes on. Park Rangers Hugh Packsaddle, and Ned Woomsi, were out in the bush when they came across an unusua…
Read full storyEngland Is Considering Renaming The Tower Big Ben In Honor of Queen Elizabeth
LONDON, (UK Satire News) - The British Parliament has proposed that the Tower Big Ben be renamed in honor of her majesty Queen Elizabeth. The idea is causing a groundswell, as QE is the most respected person in the entire United Kingdom; including…
Read full storyAmerica is …
America, you are like the annoying house guest who just won’t go the fuck home, even when the host and hostess are in their PJs and have turned off the lights but kept the front door unlocked hoping you’d take the hint. America is the annoying nei…
Read full storyGuns ‘R Fun!
Thank you, America, for teaching the world that guns are fun. A madman in Copenhagen, Denmark – the happiest place on Earth (Disneyland does NOT have a copyright on happiness) has now taken his gun into a shopping mall and killed some people. Just…
Read full storyPresident Biden Says The United States Will No Longer Import Russian Salad Dressing
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden continues to put sanctions on the evil Russian empire because Putin thinks that he's Hitler's illegitimate son. Biden has already prohibited any U.S. citizen from traveling to or from Russia eithe…
Read full storyMeghan Had An Affair and the Queen Is Not Amused
Hollywood sources have reported that Meghan Markel has had an affair on Harry – with a black guy! And boy was he hung! Since abortions are no longer legal in America, she has to keep the baby, which is bad news for the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha.
Read full storyA Very Strong Woman Buys Her Husband a Riding Lawn Mower For Their 40th Wedding Anniversary
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - Mr. and Mrs. Wally F. Frigginsteen, recently celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. Wally bought his wife (Trulinda) a very pretty pair of Top Gun pink flip-flops. And Trulinda bought Wally, a 2022 John Deere…
Read full storyThe Adventures of L’il Fetus
Born on the wrong side of the tracks, his single unwed mama popped him out in an alley, then she disappeared … forever … (possibly swallowed by the Republican Party) … he didn’t ask to be born, but since he was, he vowed to find his mama and get reve…
Read full storyDuring His Jan. 6 Attack On The Capitol Hearing Appearance Steve Bannon Took The Fifth 103 Times
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - BuzzFuzz reporrts that Steve Bannon has just shown himself to be the biggest fucking idiot since the world's first known idiot, Kitvir Yubxx, who crawled on land over 18,000 years ago. Bannon was forced to attend…
Read full storyLouisiana Will Levy A Fine On, And Arrest Any Lobster Poaching SOB's It Catches
BAYOU FUFU, Louisiana - (Satire News) - The state of Louisiana is not going to put up with anybody poaching one of their state's best revenue-producing commodities, lobsters. Louisiana Governor John Bel "Gator" Edwards, has informed his game warde…
Read full storyWyoming's Largest Buffalo Herd Stampedes and Now Is Grazing In South Dakota
CHEYENNE, Wyoming - (Satire News) - The largest bison herd in the state of Wyoming is no longer grazing on Wyoming soil. A Wyoming highway patrol officer, reported that a bolt of lightning caused the famed Oglala Sioux Buffalo Herd to stampede, a…
Read full storyJuly 4th and Nothing is “Planned” … Maybe
I called up Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ginny Thomas, Matt Gaetz, Josh Hawley, Ron DeSantis and, of course, The Trump, to ask if they had anything “planned” for this year’s July 4th celebrations. These were some of the answers, (but I won’t say who sa…
Read full storyA 97-Year-Old NRA Great Grandmother Threatens An Amazon Prime Deliveryman
COTTONMOUTH, Mississippi - (Satire News) - A 97-year-old woman got her wrinkled old ass tossed in the Cottonmouth City Jail. An officer with the Cottonmouth Police Department reported that an Amazon Prime delivery man, identified as Tyler Montasel…
Read full storyNo July 4th for Puerto Rico
I recall learning in school that the 13 Colonists of America – or something to that effect – wanted to have a revolution against Britain because of some buzz-phrase called, “taxation without representation”. And yet, Puerto Rico is essentially a s…
Read full storyHot Lesbian Step-Sister Suppressed Love!
Marjorie Taylor Greene has repeatedly sent tweets to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as though the two are warring step-siblings. Although Marjorie always sends first, and Alexandria has to respond to shut Midge up, who then sends another one, back and fort…
Read full storyA Freak Fire In The New England Patriots Locker Room Destroys 37 Footballs Along With 63 Jock Straps
FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts - (Sports Satire) - A fire of unknown origin started in the Patriots locker room and quickly spread to the equipment closet. A Patriots custodian Otto Tox, 78, said that as he was eating his lunch in the outdoor picnic ar…
Read full storyU-Haul Those Domestic Terrorists
Do you and your Nazi buddies need to get to a protest of people who are different than you, but your mom’s minivan won’t fit everybody? Remember: there’s strength in numbers. Bringing just a half dozen teenagers or guys in their 20s who don’t hav…
Read full storyThe “Free Julian Assange” Show
Welcome to the Free Julian Assange Show! We have a tote board to show how many donations we’ve received to free Julian, and it’s still at zero. But even more exciting, we have famous world leaders on the phone, here to tell you what they’ve b…
Read full storyDinosaur Sex - One of the Last Big Battles in Science
Science has been studying dinosaurs for a couple hundred years, and new troves of immaculately preserved dinosaurs are coming out of China and Germany. There have been many battles among scientists over what kind of skin they have and if they ha…
Read full storyA Little 14-Year-Old Female Juggler In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico Can Juggle 8 Rosters At One Time
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - (Satire News) - Mexico's El Ole News Agency has just reported that a tiny, 14-year-old, female juggler has accomplished a feat never before seen anywhere on earth. Little 4-foot-8-inch juggler Carmelita Juanita Que, accomp…
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