I called up Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ginny Thomas, Matt Gaetz, Josh Hawley, Ron DeSantis and, of course, The Trump, to ask if they had anything “planned” for this year’s July 4th celebrations.
These were some of the answers, (but I won’t say who said what):
“Not that I’m telling you – how did you get this number? I’m telling my husband! He’ll pass an unjust law so fast it’ll make the nation’s head spin!”
“What do you mean by planned? I wasn’t there, you can’t prove it, I have a permit for all my guns, kill or be killed, that’s politics in America, 2022 muthafu – ”
“Just to love America and hate our enemies foreign and domestic, and to see some hotties wearing the American flag all over their sexy bodies” (That was Marjorie, sorry, I had to out her.)
“January 6th is a witch hunt against me and those people who still support me, I am amazing, this July 4th will be a spectacle, stand up and stand down, stand all around town, I’ll be doing an underage hooker on Jeffery’s island –” (I had to cut that one off, he went on and on and revealed some stuff which could get me “suicided”.
“I don’t know nuthin’ ‘bout nuthin’ nohow – immigrants are always the problem, never the politicians.”
“Oh yeah, shit is gonna light up – why do you think the Patriot Front boys in their U-Hauls arrived in Boston? Shit is going down, bitches! It started in Boston – or was it Philly? But the Tea Party was there, so’s now we’s gonna have ourselves a NEW tea party, and I don’t mean some stupid political organization that was too dumb to succeed anyway.”
“Wanna party? I’m not gay, but we could get some high school girls and go down to the railroad tracks – ”
Again, I had to shut up most of these people. They scare me. They may scare America this July 4th too.
Best stay inside.
