WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden continues to put sanctions on the evil Russian empire because Putin thinks that he's Hitler's illegitimate son.
Biden has already prohibited any U.S. citizen from traveling to or from Russia either by plane, ship, or train, and now he adds that the U.S. will no longer import Russian salad dressing.
POTUS has also frozen billions of dollars that Russian oligarchs have deposited in American banks and savings and loans.
Biden has even had The American Banking Agency (ABA) legally take any Russian oligarch shares in companies like Coca-Cola, Budweiser, McDonalds, and Victoria's Secret and simply place them in a U.S. Taxpayer's Corporate Escrow Fund.
Meanwhile, in retaliation, Putin says that he will no longer import any American sex toys from Fredricks of Hollywood.
