Massachusetts Reports That Shark Attacks Are Up 900% - Meanwhile Iowa Says Shark Attacks Are Still At 0%
PILGRIM MUSKET, Massachusetts - (Satire News) - The local authorities of the beautiful beach town, by the Atlantic Ocean have just informed the citizenry that shark attacks have increased by 900% just since the start of summer. When asked if they…
Read full storyThe Most Recent British Poll Shows That Chicken Tikka Masala Is Now More Popular Than Fish and Chips
LONDON - (Satire News) - England's Royal Fog Research Group has just revealed that Chicken Tikka Masala has now become the most popular dish in the entire United Kingdom. The British research group noted that the Indian dish has surpassed Bangers…
Read full storyWhite Songwriter Diane Warren Has Just Pissed The Hell Out of Every Black Songwriter in America (Big Time!)
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - Well some people never learn. If you're up there, just keep your curious mouth shut, or someone will certainly come along and shut it for you real fucking fast. Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter Kiowa Kettle writes that'…
Read full storyViruses Like Vacations Too - There are Long Lines At all African Airports
The Viruses, Corona, Monkeypox, etc., all know it is summer, and vacation time. They are all lined up at various African airports, waiting to go to Europe and America and have good summer fun. Earlier in the year, they were really scared that th…
Read full storyThe 2000 Year Catholic Reich
I went to confession last Sunday, despite not being Catholic. I had a few questions. “How long since your last confession, my son?” “Your what? Daddy? At long last? Mama and I have been looking for you everywhere! You became a priest? Was mama…
Read full storyWhen John Bull Be Smokin’ Da ‘Erb, Rudeboy?
When will Britain legalize recreational marijuana? When will it “be cricket”? I asked His Lordship and Garter of the Belt and Hat and Jingling Bells, Quinsley Fucktard, when oh when will such a delicious ‘drug’ make its way down The Thames (most l…
Read full storyNancy’s Hittin’ It Old School!
Nancy Pelosi landed safely in Taiwan (maybe I shouldn’t write this too soon) and is feeling empowered. After her usual hellos to everybody from the Taiwan government (who were all shitting bricks, I believe is the Taiwanese expression), she starte…
Read full storyCancel the Cancel of Cancelling
Cancelling stuff has become a culture. How far to go? Can we immaculate homo sapiens go too far? Either put all the bad shit in a museum next to the sadistic Emperors of Rome, or get a million bulldozers and raze everything everyone has ever made…
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Thumbs Nose At China
The same lady who pointed her finger and drilled down at Trump saying, “All your roads lead to Putin,” has landed in Taiwan, despite China’s threat that China would shoot down Pelosi's plane. Some fortune cookie! China is not presenting a very…
Read full storySeaWorld Is Changing Its Name
ORLANDO, Florida - (Satire News) - The Board of Directors of SeaWorld, the world famous marine mammal park, ride theme park, and oceanarium has voted to change the name of the aquatic themed park. The board voted 7 to 6 to change the name from Se…
Read full storyThe Buckingham Palace Doctor Reveals The Cause of Queen Elizabeth's Awful Migraine Headaches
LONDON - (Satire News) - The mystery of her majesty's migraine headaches has been resolved. Bee's Knees News Agency reporter Birmingham Cribworthy, stated that the queen's awful headaches were a direct result, not of royal stress, but of her cons…
Read full storyThe Simpson's Lisa Has her Trannie Aunt from Transylvania Visit Her-(Halloween Episode)
(The Simpsons always cover new parts of American life. In this episode Lisa has her older 'Trannie' aunt from Transylvania visit her.) Lisa’s aunt Victoria (once Victor) has written Lisa and confided her transition - and Lisa is sympathetic. H…
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Sneezed in South Korea and China threatened Nuclear Retaliation
Nancy Pelosi, on congressional business, visited Japan, the Philippines and South Korea. In the Philippines she saw Imelda Marco's new shoe collection - now that Imelda's son is President - and the money is rolling in again. While in South Korea…
Read full storyThis Episode of 'Your Gardening World' - 'Make a Home for the Dear Little Birds'
Hello - this is Margaret, from my little garden in Hampshire - where all the pigs grow up - and we get lots of their yummy - (but smelly) droppings. You can smell them in the air also many times, when the wind is just right. The Thatcher Netw…
Read full storyThe California Drought Has Gotten So Bad That Gov. Gavin Newsom Has Implemented a "Turn In Your Water Violating Neighbor Program" And Receive $500
SACRAMENTO, California - (Satire News) - California is experiencing the worst drought in 614 years. The California State Dept. of the Environment is quick to point out that contrary to what that Has Been (Donald Trump) keeps saying, it is not the…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Has Decided To Adopt a 17-Year-Old Ukrainian Boy
LONDON - (Satire News) - Her majesty, Queen Elizabeth was recently watching the Russian-Ukrainian War news on the BBC. A picture of a young Ukrainian boy suddenly flashed on the screen. She noticed that he looked a lot like one of her grandsons, W…
Read full storyThe Brooklyn Police Department Reports That The Punk Who Painted Graffiti All Over The Trump Library Has Been Caught
BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - The Brooklyn Police Dept. is glad to say that they have apprehended the vandal who spray painted vulgarisms all over the walls of The Trump Library. Trump Library librarian Henrietta F. Nuxx, 91, says that she is so happ…
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