BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - The Brooklyn Police Dept. is glad to say that they have apprehended the vandal who spray painted vulgarisms all over the walls of The Trump Library.
Trump Library librarian Henrietta F. Nuxx, 91, says that she is so happy to know that the fucking, son-of-a-bitch who defaced the library is now behind bars.
Miss Nuxx, who has never been married (or even boinked at least once) said that she hopes that they throw the book (no pun intended) at the pussy bitch.
BPD stated that the vandal has been identified as Donnie Danny "Crazy Nuts" Tipper, 24, who is a member of the Board of Directors of The Proud Boys.
Tipper told the arresting officers that he is a card-carrying Republican, but he now hates "Baby Fingers" Trump because he told all of the Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers, The KKKers, and the Nazi Party of America that he was going to lead them to attack the Capital, but "Noooooo," the little Cheeto Faced cunt fooled all of the homegrown terrorists, as he sat like the pussy he is, in the safety of his Oval Office eating Big Macs, McFries, and drinking several Papaya Margaritas.
SIDENOTE: Andy Cohen, America's info guru says that he heard that Mitch McConnell and the GOPers want Tipper to get at least a 30 to 40 year sentence.
