This Episode of 'Your Gardening World' - 'Make a Home for the Dear Little Birds'

Funny story written by UncleDale

Tuesday, 2 August 2022

image for This Episode of 'Your Gardening World' - 'Make a Home for the Dear Little Birds'
Tits are a joy to see in the garden

Hello - this is Margaret, from my little garden in Hampshire - where all the pigs grow up - and we get lots of their yummy - (but smelly) droppings.

You can smell them in the air also many times, when the wind is just right.

The Thatcher Network, (I’m a cousin), gave me the topic of 'Welcome the little Birds' - and I will do my best.

Bird are our friends, eat a lot of those nasty insects and like to live near us and build their nests.

Please plant lots of shrubs and trees bearing fruit, for them.

My recent book ($ twenty pounds) will tell you all about what to plant.

Anyway, I love the dear little birds, except for their dear little Droppings.

Sometimes, I can't sit in my garden with the little dears letting loose in the trees over my bench. All that fruit gives them loose bowels.

In the summer, I have to wear a waterproof hat and jacket at times.

And I have been to hospital three times slipping on the bricks covered with Droppings.

It's like a war zone around here sometimes. Especially with all the Starlings.

I tried to get my pussy to chase them away, but she is fat and lazy.

Life goes on, but I might have to get a slingshot.

My next program, next month, will be dealing with the sweet little snails in your garden.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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