This Episode of 'Your Gardening World' - 'Make a Home for the Dear Little Birds'

Funny story written by UncleDale

Tuesday, 2 August 2022

image for This Episode of 'Your Gardening World' - 'Make a Home for the Dear Little Birds'
Tits are a joy to see in the garden

Hello - this is Margaret, from my little garden in Hampshire - where all the pigs grow up - and we get lots of their yummy - (but smelly) droppings.

You can smell them in the air also many times, when the wind is just right.

The Thatcher Network, (I’m a cousin), gave me the topic of 'Welcome the little Birds' - and I will do my best.

Bird are our friends, eat a lot of those nasty insects and like to live near us and build their nests.

Please plant lots of shrubs and trees bearing fruit, for them.

My recent book ($ twenty pounds) will tell you all about what to plant.

Anyway, I love the dear little birds, except for their dear little Droppings.

Sometimes, I can't sit in my garden with the little dears letting loose in the trees over my bench. All that fruit gives them loose bowels.

In the summer, I have to wear a waterproof hat and jacket at times.

And I have been to hospital three times slipping on the bricks covered with Droppings.

It's like a war zone around here sometimes. Especially with all the Starlings.

I tried to get my pussy to chase them away, but she is fat and lazy.

Life goes on, but I might have to get a slingshot.

My next program, next month, will be dealing with the sweet little snails in your garden.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more