Mob Boss Salvatore Goombalini Tells Trump He Wants To Buy Trump Tower
BROOKLYN, New York - (Satire News) - Brooklyn Bridge Times Newspaper reporter LaSabrina Windwater, has broken open the story that an extremely upset Mob boss, Sal Goombalini, head of the Goombalini Crime Family is demanding that The Trumptwit (Donald…
Read full storyA Major League Baseball Umpire Is Suspended For Throwing Gang Signs During a MLB Game
CHICAGO - (Sports Satire) - A veteran MLB umpire has received an 8-day suspension from baseball commissioner Rob "The Man" Manfred. According to The Sports Bet Gazette, umpire Tony "Strike! Azalea received the suspension for his illegal gesture, w…
Read full storyTrump Retains FlyFace To Fight FBI And DOJ
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a move that was called “brilliant” by legal scholars, Donald Trump hired the best law mind in the Nation to defend him from the dual onslaught of his constitutional rights by the criminal combine of the FBI and the Department o…
Read full storyFlight of the Three-Headed Man!
Donald Trump has (had) three passports in three different names? Holy flight risk, Batman! As I said in a previous article, Trump is a Gemini, so having multiple personalities is normal for his zodiac. Why are the FBI making such a big deal over…
Read full storyKimberly Guilfoyle Denies Ever Dating Mobster Pistachio Goombalini
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily has just uncovered photos of Donald Trump Jr's, fiancee Kimberly "Lips of Love" Guilfoyle parked at the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles sitting in a 2023 Lamborghini with none other than Pistachio Goombali…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Nude Again!
BALTIMORE - (Satire News) - One of the most popular politicians in recent Washington D.C. history is Marjorie Taylor Greene. Hollywood's Bedroom Pillow Talk recently reported that MTG has had more boyfriends than all five of the Kardashian sisters…
Read full storyThe GOP Is Demanding That The Cereal Company That Manufactures Fruit Loops Remove The Pink Loops
KALAMAZOO, Michigan - (Satire News) - The Republican National Party is demanding that the company that manufactures the Fruit Loops Dry Breakfast Cereal immediately stop producing the pink loops. When asked by Paloma Sonoma with The American Foodi…
Read full storyHitler’s ‘Mein Kampf’ Homework in Florida
Ron De Santis wants American veterans to happily volunteer to enter the Florida school system to teach “these goddamn kids how to be a man!” Well, he didn’t say that in so many words … he used other carefully chosen words to not sound TOO Nazi, just…
Read full storyShanghai Ikea Shopping Flee
The people of Shanghai don’t like being locked down, whether in their homes (where some can only escape via suicide) nor while buying cheap but pretty furniture in Ikea. But in the footage where it appears as though many people were desperately ru…
Read full storyThe Cuban Carnivore
Stephen Colbert said that Ted Cruz looked like a werewolf who got frozen in mid-change. I like jokes as much as the next werewolf, but this is going too far! Yes, Mr. Colbert, you have let the wolf out of the bag by revealing who Ted Cruz really i…
Read full storyTrump's Border Wall Is As Effective In Stopping Drug Traffic As Using a Flyswatter To Kill a Hippopotamus
EAGLE PASS, Texas - (Satire News) - A reporter with The Austin Texan World, Gazebo Serengetti, has shown exactly how ineffective the Trumptwat's expensive-as-hell wall actually is. Serengetti took a photo of an automobile that crossed from Piedras…
Read full storyA Russian-Ukraine War Update: Poland's 88th Warsaw Infantry Regiment Captures 2,000 Russian Soldiers
MARKIVKA, Ukraine - (Satire News) - The Ukraine National News Agency has just informed the Ukrainian people and the people of the world that Poland's 88th Warsaw Infantry Regiment has kicked the ass of Putin's pride and joy, his 69th Russian Bear Inf…
Read full storyElon Musk Is Developing The Ultra-Modern Tesla Flying Car
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - Elon Musk, the gazillionaire whose brain never, ever stops being creative has just announced to the modern world that he currently has the brightest automotive brains in the entire world working on his new Elon Musk Te…
Read full storyEU brings in controversial tax for Russian tourists – they’ll have to pay an extra 1 euro for towels on EU beaches (but this won’t apply to online orders)
The EU celebrated unanimity in their latest bid to punish Russia for invading Ukraine. Russian tourists will have to pay a surcharge of 1 euro each when visiting EU beaches. The EU had wanted to ban Russian tourists completely but Turkish President E…
Read full storyAn Amarillo Bronc-Busting Cowgirl Rides a Bronc That No Cowboy Has Been Able To Ride
SAN ANTONIO - (Sports Satire) - The Annual San Antonio Yippee-Ki-Yay Rodeo & Livestock Exhibit was recently held in The Alamodome. The event included all kinds of rodeo events including bull riding, calf roping, steer wrestling, and saddle bro…
Read full storyThe 19th Liverpool Heavy Tank Artillery Regiment Engaged A Russian Regiment 17 Miles Into Russia
17 MILES INSIDE OF RUSSIA - - (Satire News) An English reporter who is embedded with England's 19th Liverpool Heavy Artillery Regiment is reporting that the 19th got so caught up in attacking a Russian infantry regiment that they followed them 17 mil…
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