17 MILES INSIDE OF RUSSIA - - (Satire News) An English reporter who is embedded with England's 19th Liverpool Heavy Artillery Regiment is reporting that the 19th got so caught up in attacking a Russian infantry regiment that they followed them 17 miles into Russia.
Reporter Tango Brisket with The Twickenham Times-Telegram stated that the British troops under Field Marshal Eric Derek Petaluma, distinguished themselves quite admirably.
Brisket said that he had never seen enemy soldiers running as fast as Putin's coward commies were.
President Putin heard about the retreat of his troops back into Russia and he became so angry that he punched the wall, cracking several bones in his masturbating hand.
Meanwhile back in England, Queen Elizabeth has said that if she had her way, British troops would march all the way into Moscow.