Trump Retains FlyFace To Fight FBI And DOJ

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 15 August 2022

image for Trump Retains FlyFace To Fight FBI And DOJ
Don’t Call Me Flyface

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a move that was called “brilliant” by legal scholars, Donald Trump hired the best law mind in the Nation to defend him from the dual onslaught of his constitutional rights by the criminal combine of the FBI and the Department of Justice.

Flyface's given name is either Felixweather Limpp or Felix Weatherlimmp. It is possible that his name was altered during his covert work for the FBI.

It is unclear if Flyface is actually an attorney. He gained his reputation by providing legal advice to Willie the Fifth, a career criminal who has been in and out of jail most of his life. It is strongly implied that Flyface was self-taught and never went to Law School. But this was according to the Washington Post, not a reliable source by any means.

When Donald Trump was interviewing Flyface, he came across Flyface's high school yearbook. Leafing through it, Trump found his graduation picture and asked him why his picture had flies in it. Unaware that Felix Weatherlimpp detested the name, Trump called him Flyface,

“Please don’t call me Flyface. It is unprofessional,” explained Weatherlimpp, as he casually swatted the hordes of flies encircling his head.

It was Flyface’s influence on Willie the Fifth that intrigued Trump. Willie the Fifth's nickname was derived from his use of the legal tactic of employing the Fifth Amendment, which gives Americans the right to refuse to speak if they believe that their response might tend to incriminate themselves. Fifth had the habit of saying "I refuse to answer" even when asked a harmless question. Fifth claimed to have learned this tactic from Flyface, his "legal advisor".

“That’s good enough for me,” said Trump. “You’re hired.”

Dr. Slim: “That’s why you can never count the Trumpster out. He surrounds himself with the best legal minds.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. Those flies will drive him nuts, though.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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