NASA Is Shocked To Learn That The Warranty on The Mars Land Rover Perseverance Has Expired
HOUSTON – (Satire News) – There are dozens and dozens of red-faced space program executives at the NASA Space Center that have overlooked something that could end up costing the American taxpayers lots and lots of money. Boom Boom News reporter H…
Read full storyCongresswoman Cori Bush Continues To Beef Up Her Personal Security Detail
Squad member Loquacious and quick-witted congresswoman, Cori Bush, has announced to the world that she will be beefing up her private security detail which she is currently spending over $375,000 for. The defund the police and empty all the prisons…
Read full storyVice-President Harris Promises That Trump Will Be a Jailbird By “Turkey Day”
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Vice-President Harris told Ipso Facto News that she is 99.998% certain that the former “Divider-in-Chief” aka Donald Jonathan Trump will be wearing an orange inmates jumpsuit and sitting in a jail cell before Thanks…
Read full storyBiden’s Dog Major To Enter Dog Olympics
This wasn’t President Biden’s idea, but his dog Major’s. It seems Major was Googling on his computer and discovered that there was a Dog Olympics. But of course, it wasn’t like the sissy Westminster Kennel Show held at Madison Square Gardens every ye…
Read full storyDonald Trump Reveals That His 2024 Presidential Campaign Running Mate Will Be The Gorgeously Hot, Sexy-As-Hell Ivanka Trump
PALM BEACH, Florida - ( Satire New) – Word coming out of the spider-infested Mar-a-Lago mansion is that Donald John Trump is thrilled to announce that his vice-presidential running mate will be none other than his hot, sexy, lusciously delicious daug…
Read full storyAn Iowa Man is Arrested For Making Medical Masks Out of Re-Cycled Crow Droppings
CORNBREAD, Iowa – (Satire News) – The local CBS affiliate is reporting that a resident of the town of Cornbread has been taken into custody for conduct unbecoming a normal person. The Cornbread Police Department reported that a Mr. Peter P. Varshi…
Read full storyNASCAR’S 1st Transgender Driver Wins Her First Race
TOLEDO, Ohio – (Sports Satire) – The NASCAR organization is proud to announce that the Toledo 300 Invitational was won by the organization’s very first transgender driver. Twenty-eight-year-old Catalina Puffinpick captured the coveted race from a…
Read full storyAlex Pettyfer and Toni Garrn’s Marriage Is-On-The-Rocks
UPPER TOOTING, England – (Satire News) – England’s Ta Ta For Now News is reporting that English actor/model Alex Pettyfer and his German model wife Toni Garrn’s marriage is crumbling like a sand castle in a rainstorm. The actor stared in such film…
Read full storyCartoon Character still can't move his legs fast enough
2nd rate cartoon character Feathers McGee still can't move his legs fast enough to keep going in the air. The bird/hippopotamus based character often finds himself running off the edge of a cliff, hearing a little music, looking down to the sound…
Read full storyCouple listening to all of James Blunt's albums for the comedy
Well known fictional couple, Gary and Lorraine Johnson have been listening to James Blunt's songs for the comedy value. 'Yes' said Gary 'I put on Back to Bedlam yesterday, as I forgot I owned it, and as soon as it starting playing Lorraine was in…
Read full storyMan has become his own weather-forecaster
Brian Asshat, Chutney on the Fritz's most well-known collector of artisan paper clips, has during lockdown become his own forecaster. 'Yes' said Brian, sporting a healthy amount of nasal hair 'I realised that I don't need any weather-people tellin…
Read full storyLaurence Fox's next album to just be white noise
The United Kingdom's most famous right-wing reactionary, miserable git, and last bloke you want to join you at the bar Laurence Fox has revealed this next album, his fourth will just be white-noise. Inspired by life-long hero Lou Reed, Fox reveale…
Read full storyDonald and Melania Trump Have Decided To Adopt a Baby From Kenya
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – One of Donald Trump’s girlfriends has advised him that if he wants to get back into the good graces of the American people he is going to have to change his evil, racist ways. Close friend and rumored girlfriend,…
Read full storyPolitical Correctness Gone Amuck: Dallas Cowboys Must Change Name
Following the Cleveland Indians and the Washington Redskins, the Dallas team in the National Football League has announced that when the season begins the team will no longer carry the nickname Cowboys. Until a new nickname is adopted, the team will…
Read full storyFlorida Governor Ron DeSantis Is Blaming Mississippi For Florida’s Delta Dawn Virus Outbreak
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (Satire News) – Die-hard Trump follower and super ass-kisser Ron DeSantis, sticks his GOP foot in his GOP mouth at least half a dozen times each and every day. A few days ago, he said that he wants to deport most of the Cuba…
Read full storyThe Dallas Cowboys Lose to The Pittsburgh Steelers 16-3, But Their Sexy Cowboys Cheerleaders Capture the Hearts and Crotches of The American Males
CANTON, Ohio – (Sports Satire) – Jerry Jones told Cinderella St. Lamb with the Balls News Agency that he is getting tired-as-hell of seeing his team lose. He said that he is so stressed out that he is even having a problem getting it up in the bed…
Read full storyFlorida’s Governor DeSantis Is Going Down With The Titanic
It’s more than a case of denial or ignorance, Florida's Governor Ron DeSantis must know better (unless he’s a certified moron), but he has his eye on the White House. He seems to think that by agreeing with Donald Trump’s message of the Lysol and Clo…
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