Brian Asshat, Chutney on the Fritz's most well-known collector of artisan paper clips, has during lockdown become his own forecaster.
'Yes' said Brian, sporting a healthy amount of nasal hair 'I realised that I don't need any weather-people telling me what the weather is going to be like when I can just look out the window. If I take an umbrella, and a cagoule, and let's face it, which self-respecting man doesn't do that, I will be fine'.
Brian has also discovered that he doesn't need cookery shows, as he can open his can of baked beans, and doesn't need anyone else to write fiction, because his dreams are the only entertainment he will ever need.
