WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Vice-President Harris told Ipso Facto News that she is 99.998% certain that the former “Divider-in-Chief” aka Donald Jonathan Trump will be wearing an orange inmates jumpsuit and sitting in a jail cell before Thanksgiving.
The vice-president even revealed that she has placed a $6,000 bet with a Las Vegas betting firm that the Trumptard will soon be identified by a bunch of convict numbers.
Former Trump attorney and fixer Michael Cohen, who now hates Trump more than woodpeckers hate steel, added that he himself has made a $15,000 bet with one of Trump’s biggest ass-kissers, pillow punk and former crack head, Mike Lindell.
Cohen stated that since he does not trust Lindell to pay if, and when he loses, he has decided to have Oprah Winfrey hold the $30,000.
SIDENOTE: Oprah, who says she is not a betting woman, revealed that she has made a $1 million bet with Mitch “The Moscow Bitch” McConnell, that Melania's Donaldo will have his Thanksgiving turkey dinner in prison.