When Your Dog Goes To Rainbow Bridge
BILLINGSGATE POST: With the recent loss of my beloved little rescue dog, I am publishing a beautiful eulogy written by an unknown author. My heart is still heavy. I hope you understand: RAINBOW BRIDGE Just this side of heaven is a place calle…
Read full storyTrump Wants To Kill Obamacare, But He Has No Plan To Replace It, Proving He’s Just a Fake and a Fraud
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The latest poll from Quinnipini shows that President Trump wants to take away Obamacare from 175 million middle-class and poor people, but the cruel, hate-filled piece of shit has nothing to replace it with. Nothing.
Read full storyChris Grayling - My Life as Mr Noseybonk
Hello there, all you good people, Chris Grayling here. You know, the bloke who gets to move from one job to another and then another, until I find one I really like. Anyway, I am on a really cushy number now, I work 7 hours a week, and I am paid £…
Read full story"If you build it they will come"
President Trump complained to reporters that he saw so many brown faces in Arizona that he thought he was in Mexico. "I say I'm building a wall, so here they come...faces half covered, ready to steal jobs from real Americans." When the current…
Read full storyTrump to leave the White House through the sewage system
Trailing in the polls, it looks increasingly likely that Donald Trump will lose the upcoming presidential election. With his fragile ego and narcissistic personality disorder, it is unlikely that Trump will be able to face the reality of losing so…
Read full storySkin Specialist in Court
Our legal correspondent reports from Dublin: Frequent litigant, Pegeen NaSquarehole, is in court again. This time, the alleged offending party is skin specialist Dermot O’Logy. NaSquarehole alleges that when O'Logy saw she had a reddened skin cond…
Read full storyRecreational athlete misses locker room banter, can't wait to catch up on latest pubic hairstyles
Local athlete Jeff Miller announced today he can't wait for the restart of his men's ice hockey league so he can stay up-to-date with the latest news and pubic hair fashions. "While chatting about stocks or listening to the latest raunchy joke, I…
Read full storyJapan Documentary Woman Made Odd Sound
A documentary about a village that practised sericulture, the farming of silkworms and their cocoons, which is now almost deserted due to the lack of demand for the cocoons, featured a strange woman who made an even stranger sound whenever she acknow…
Read full storyDonald Trump To Be Defeated By ‘Sleepy Joe’
Donald Trump likes to give his opponents silly names, thinking it will make him appear superior. Immature? Yes, but that’s where he remains, and now it’s to be expected from The Bump. Feeling superior to Joe Biden, allegedly because he inherited 4…
Read full storyTop 10 Reasons to Reelect President Trump
Here are the top 10 reasons for patriotic Americans to reelect President Donald J. Trump. But don’t worry if you can’t make it to the polls on election day. It might not matter at the end of that day. If, by some unimaginable fluke, President T…
Read full storyBiden administration forecasts long dark winter “everything in sight locked down”
It is no secret that with millions of ballots already cast, Mr. Biden is ahead in the upcoming November 3 presidential election. Accordingly, he has offered a far-ranging look into coming days with himself at the helm of the United States. Tra…
Read full storyGiant Fly enters Presidential Race
In an astounding moment of bravery, representatives for last-minute voting statistics have reported a late entry into the presidential race, with the signing of The Giant Fly to the roster of eligible candidates. Through an insect interpreter, Th…
Read full storySheep have more brains than humans claim Dutch scientists!
(NOT EDITED) In these quite desperate times, you know what I mean, a group of Dutch scientists decided to look at human intelligence compared to sheep's intelligence. They spent weeks and months studying sheep in the flatlands covering Holland. They…
Read full storyAmy Coney Barrett is Now a Cruel, Mean, Uncaring, Hate-Filled Pro-Trump GOP Supreme Court Judge
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Vox Populi is reporting that Trump and the GOPunks have gotten their way. They have shoved in yet another Republican puppet to do whatever the “Divider-in-Chief” wants this spineless Raggedy Ann to do. Vox Populi…
Read full storyThe Sexy Blonde Pole Dancer Who Claimed to Have Had Sexual Relations With 13 NBA Players Has Taken a Lie-Detector Test
RABBIT HOLE, Rhode Island - (Sports Satire) – Jolene Butterwood 24, of Rabbit Hole, Rhode Island, claimed she had 55 video tapes of her doing the belly-bumping with 13 different NBA pro basketballers. Miss Butterwood was forced to take a lie-detec…
Read full storyDancing With The Stars Had Lots and Lots of Villains
HOLLYWOOD – (Celebrity Satire) – In keeping with the Hollywood Halloween theme, the dance theme for this week was ‘villains’. And no one pulled it off more than judge Bruno Tonioli, who was dressed as the scariest villain-monster of all, Fox News…
Read full storyThe Fox News Building is Infested With The Coronavirus
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Boston Addresser Chronicle has reported that the entire Fox News building may have to be demolished due to a horrendous Coronavirus infestation. A Fox News insider said that some of the top employees including B…
Read full storyTeacher Was Tempted To Fart In Student's Face
A student who was showing off to his friends and indulging in the centuries-old prank of walking close behind a teacher and emulating his every move, ran the very real risk of inviting vengeance on a hitherto-unknown scale, when the teacher briefly c…
Read full storySelf-Made Entrepreneur Jared Kushner Says Blacks Need to Get Motivated to be Successful Like Him
Washington - The first Son-In-Law of the nation, Jared Kushner, spoke in a campaign speech on behalf of his father-in-law Donald Trump and commented to African Americans about their lack of motivation to become as successful as he is. "We can't w…
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