NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Boston Addresser Chronicle has reported that the entire Fox News building may have to be demolished due to a horrendous Coronavirus infestation.
A Fox News insider said that some of the top employees including Brett Baier, Martha MacCallum, Dana Perino, and Juan Williams have all tested positive for COVID-19 and are having to self-quarantine in their homes, apartments, and mobile homes.
Meanwhile, Sean Hannity says that he is fine, except for an extremely bothersome case of jock itch.
Laura Ingraham was checked out by the Fox News doctor, who said that she was okay, but added that he did learn that she has an extra ovary, a sprained funny bone, and her tits are lopsided as hell.
When Tucker Carlson was tested and examined, it was determined that his left ball was the size of St. Joseph's baby aspirin.
A Fox News rep said that Lou Dobbs is free of the Coronavirus, but he is hallucinating from having four chins, two of which are going to have to be removed pretty damn soon.