C-listed Actor Donald Trump Miscast In Leading Role
Why did, and is, Donald Trump doing such a poor job? The guy is strictly a C-listed actor and given an A-listed leading role that he could never perform. It is what it is, and he can't handle the truth. An actor with a B-listed role is us…
Read full storyWorld Record For Buses Arriving At Same Time Smashed
There was cause for celebration in Bangkok this morning, as the record for buses arriving at the same time was not only broken, but smashed to smithereens, as no less than 5 service 140 buses turned up at Victory Monument simultaneously. The servi…
Read full storySky Sports to add simulated fan abuse
Sky Sports have announced plans to include racist, homophobic, sexualized and other hateful slurs to enliven viewers' experiences, starting with next weekend's Premier League football broadcasts. "Our research uncovered strong viewer demand for an…
Read full storyWilliam Barr Locked Out Of White House Parking Space
Driving down Pennsylvania Avenue in his red Ferrari, Attorney General William Barr turned into the White House driveway. As usual, he used his car’s La Cucaracha trumpet to alert the guard to open the gate. The gate didn’t open. He was waved to…
Read full storyTwo couples and a Wheelie Bin involved in a Mexican stand-off
Couples Ray and Charlotte Ving, and Gary and Lorraine Johnson, were involved in a tense Mexican stand-off with a wheelie bin when they passed each other on a narrow street in Mithering on the Trent. Wheelie bin Larry Flump takes up the story: 'I c…
Read full storyMan still holding grudge
Although it was thirty years ago, Raymond Ving still hasn't forgiven a barely-remembered acquaintance from school asking out a girl he liked. 'Lockdown has really given me a lot of time to think,' said Ray, 'and my life has been given meaning by m…
Read full storyVirtual Strippers
Many people have been going online in the recent months for work, school, and socializing. Let’s face it, our lives have changed drastically this year. Most people will be buying everything on Amazon, and a lot of schools can be operated virtually.
Read full storyMadonna running for POTUS
Pop singer, Madonna, says she will run for the United States Presidency in 2024, and she wants to outlaw rich ego-driven business men from becoming POTUS. The 62-year-old believes she has nothing to lose and everything to gain by running for the t…
Read full story93-year-old OAP forgot to put his clock back ln 2019 and lost an hour every day of his life for a year!
As the planet turns, and we reach yet another annual 'must do', it seems as though OAPs living the last part of their lives don't give a shit about time, or putting clocks back. One 93-year-old OAP residing in Nottingham, forgot to put his clock…
Read full storySenator Mitch McConnell Finally Comes Clean and Explains The Bruises, The Purple Hands, The Band-Aids, and The Blue Lips
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The iRumors News Agency has just reported that, after first insisting that he is as fit as Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell has come clean. He has admitted that the bruises, purple hands, Band-Aids, nose cast, and b…
Read full storyGhislaine Maxwell, Jeffrey Epstein’s Girlfriend, Hints That President Trump’s Name is in Her Little Black Book
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Bedroom Pillow Talk has stated that the infamous Ghislaine Maxwell, who allegedly procured girls for Jeffrey Epstein, has commented on the contents of her little black bombshell of a book. Ghislaine reportedly gave…
Read full storyRudy Giuliani Says He is Going to Sue Sacha Baron Cohen (aka Borat) For His Fake Mockumentary Which Makes Him Look Like a Jerk
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - Sacha Baron Cohen has just learned that Donald Trump’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, is suing him for portraying him in his new film as a perverted, tax-dodging, draft-dodging, sexual predator. Cohen said that Giuliani is…
Read full storyA West Hollywood Porn Star Reveals That President Trump Wanted to Diddle Her
WEST HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Left Coast Mirror Magazine intimated that a well-known entertainment industry porn star has an audio recording of President Trump trying to procure her for a naughty procurement [i.e. diddling]. The stunningly sexy…
Read full storyLady Gaga’s Friends Fear She's Fallen Into a Depressed State
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - Some of Lady Gaga’s closest friends recently confided to Celebrity Globe that they are afraid that Lady Gaga may hurt herself, since she has fallen into a depressed mood. Bellatrix Coyotero, who is Gaga’s hairstyli…
Read full storyMan Is Considering Leaving Friends Reunited
A man who, late in life, reminisced himself into seeking out the company of some of his acquaintances from his childhood, and joined the online social networking phenomenon, Friends Reunited, has said he is extremely disappointed with the response he…
Read full storyTrump Fires Pence, Hires Sacha Baron Cohen As VP
Promising to inject energy and dick jokes into his flagging election campaign, US President Donald Trump announced comedian Sacha Baron Cohen would replace Mike Pence as Vice President. Trump tweeted early Saturday: "SO STOKED. Gonna be HILARIOUS…
Read full storyThe Children Donald Trump Ripped From Parents' Arms
The Donald Trump policy was to rip children from their parents' arms and incarcerate them in cages. Welcome to Donald Trump’s USA. “But they were well taken care of,” Trump said, during the last presidential debate. Ripped from a mother’s arms an…
Read full storyElastic In Underpants Was So Slack, Man Could Feel His Cock Dangling Down His Trouser Leg
A case of 'elastic with no elasticity' in a man's underpants meant they became so slack at the legholes that he was able to feel his penis dangling out of the underwear, and gently 'bobbing about' in his trouser leg. The underpants, which were on…
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