Although it was thirty years ago, Raymond Ving still hasn't forgiven a barely-remembered acquaintance from school asking out a girl he liked.
'Lockdown has really given me a lot of time to think,' said Ray, 'and my life has been given meaning by my grudges, and my habit of neither forgetting nor forgiving. I mean, it is only the disappointment and spite that is keeping me going at the moment.'
Ray is currently married with three children, but seems to be unable to let go of his resentments. Ray's wife, Charlotte, said: 'Ray's spite and disappointment in his teenage years are all well and good, but he doesn't make myself or the kids feel special. The chap he holds a grudge against is currently in an American prison, and the girl is someone no-one remembers particularly fondly.'
Come on Ray, get with the programme, you miserable little git.