Trump versus Biden: it's on!!
President of the United States of America, Donald J Trump, has stated today that if he is forced to relinquish the office, then he would form a people's militia that would march in formation each day past the White House, and set up camp in a park cl…
Read full storyMan Didn't Know Whether To Read, Or Listen To Music
There was major indecision on a large scale yesterday, when a man who was left with some free time on his hands couldn't, for the life of him, decide whether to spend the time reading a book, or listening to music. The opportunity for a couple of…
Read full storyMan Was So Exhausted, He Couldn't Even Be Bothered To Look Up At The Clock
A man has revealed how he was so utterly exhausted by a morning at work, that he couldn't even be bothered to raise his head to look at a clock, in order to see what time it was. Moys Kenwood, 57, labored away at trying to impart some simple scie…
Read full storyMan Shocked At Size Of Kazakhstan
A Geography teacher in a local school has revealed how absolutely flabbergasted he was yesterday afternoon, when he went to look at a map of the world on a classroom wall, and noticed, for the very first time, just how large Kazahkstan is. Moys Ke…
Read full storyLoser, A Play Coming Soon To Broadway
Loser, a play about Donald Trump, is coming soon to Broadway. Writers are working day and night, hoping to have it ready for its Broadway opening on inauguration day, January 20. As a homage to the highly successful play Hamilton, all dialogue i…
Read full storyTrump Nosed Out By “Hair Sniffing Prevert”
BILLINGSGATE POST: What a way to lose an election - being nosed out by a hair-sniffing prevert. White House insiders, who wish to remain anonymous, claim that the President is having a difficult time adjusting to losing his White House digs to a…
Read full storyTrump claims Biden is half-Ugandan
In an astonishing statement from the White House, Donald Trump has claimed Joe Biden is ineligible to become President because he is half-Ugandan. "I have reliable information, 100 % true, that he was not born in Scranton Pennsylvania, but in Kampala…
Read full storyUK bog-roll importer does mega-deal with German producer before 'UK Crap Hits the EU Fan!'
(NOT EDITED) Many Brit entrepreneurs are gearing up for the latest phase in EU-UK trade talks just in case BOJO cannot remove his head out of his rear-end in time, and allows the UK to crash out without a trade deal. One clever entrepreneur, who d…
Read full storyTrump claims title at 2020 US Masters Tournament, as Barr arrests all 92 contestants for stealing POTUS balls.
The 2020 US Masters is over even before Tiger (as the 2019 champion) could even launch his opening drive to inaugurate the tournament. And yet we have a winner! Taking time off from threatening the Supreme Court to Stop Counting the illegal votes…
Read full storyDisease Control Experts Have Just Named The White House as The Most Dangerous Place on Earth
PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island – (Satire News) – Scientists at Pawtucket’s Paul Revere University have just learned that the most dangerous place on Earth is the White House. The collegiate group noted that, just in the past three months, a total of 129…
Read full storyWilliam Barr is Too Busy Being Trump’s Personal Lawyer To Bother With Being The Nation’s Attorney General
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News reports that the United States Attorney General needs to be reminded that he works for the people of the United States. He is not the personal, suck-ass attorney of the jerk who legally lost the el…
Read full storyBed Bath and Beyond To Become Bed Bath and Beyonce
BEL AIR, California – (Satire News) – One of the nation’s most popular singers, Beyonce, is thrilled to announce that she and her husband, Jay-Z, have just purchased the national merchandise retail store, Bed, Bath, and Beyond. The company, which…
Read full storyAn Emotional Support Parrot Disrupts a Flight From New York City to Los Angeles
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – The news media is reporting that an emotional support parrot totally disrupted a Jet Blue flight from New York City to Los Angeles. The Peruvian parrot, named Guinevere, but who has been dubbed "Polly the Insult Parro…
Read full storyA Polar Bear From The North Pole Amazingly Swims Ashore in Puerto Rico
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico – (Satire News) – Telemundo has stated that beach-goers recently saw a full-grown polar bear swim ashore at San Juan’s Mucho Rum Beach. Witnesses said that the bear looked extremely tired, and animal experts said it must have…
Read full story"Old Man” Winter Relinquishing Control to Son Biff
Old Man Winter has reportedly turned over operational control of the winter season to his son, Biff, according to sources close to the personification of nature. Citing health issues, Old Man Winter made the announcement in late October, and his o…
Read full storyMan Says His Children Are Already Technophiles
A staunch technophobe, who hasn't moved with the times, has claimed that his two young children are both technophiles, and that their knowledge and confidence when using machines is so far in advance of his own, that they have labeled him a technodip…
Read full storyMan Is Becoming Irrational Thinking About The New Lockdown
The long-term.effects of an extended lockdown were widely speculated upon in March, before it actually took place, but nothing had prepared people for what eventually came to pass. Spending more time with one's family is usually something worth ce…
Read full story