BEL AIR, California – (Satire News) – One of the nation’s most popular singers, Beyonce, is thrilled to announce that she and her husband, Jay-Z, have just purchased the national merchandise retail store, Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
The company, which sells everything from mosquito repellant to inteuterine devices, will soon become Bed, Bath, and Beyonce.
The singer says that she will be adding a clothing department, where she will sell many of her personal clothes items, along with her new line of full-figured Queen B Designer Bras, which will come in 27 different vibrant, glow-in-the-dark colors, ranging from avocado green to Viagra blue.
Meanwhile, Jay-Z will handle the store’s new sports department, which will sell actual autographed jerseys from NBA sports figures such as LeBron James, Kawhi Leonard, Stephen Curry, and Giannis Antetokounmpo.
Beyonce informed Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk that she will be giving her 108 million Instagram followers a one-time discount of 50% on any purchase over $200.