PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island – (Satire News) – Scientists at Pawtucket’s Paul Revere University have just learned that the most dangerous place on Earth is the White House.
The collegiate group noted that, just in the past three months, a total of 129 White House staff members, including President Trump, his wife, Melania, his son, Barron, and the President’s girlfriend, Hope Hicks, have all come down with the Trumpapalooza virus, as Chinese leader,Xi Jinping calls it.
Of course, Trump says that it’s just a hoax, a witch hunt, and a smoke-and-mirrors ploy.
Even one of Trump’s biggest allies, “Moscow Mitch” McConnell, has stated that he wouldn’t go anywhere near the White House for all the apples in Washington state, all the potatoes in Idaho, or all the condoms in Las Vegas.
One of the White House cooks revealed, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, that the biggest infestation of Coronapalooza germs is on Trump’s hair, but nobody dares to mention that fact.