SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico – (Satire News) – Telemundo has stated that beach-goers recently saw a full-grown polar bear swim ashore at San Juan’s Mucho Rum Beach.
Witnesses said that the bear looked extremely tired, and animal experts said it must have swum for least 2,193 miles from the North Pole to San Juan.
A veterinarian who checked out the bear, which they named “Billy”, said that he was hungry-as-hell, but in excellent shape - except for a slight cough and a few tiny bruises on his belly button.
Vets informed Telemundo that the bear will be nursed back to health, after which he will be placed in a foster zoo.
They also noted that if there is anyone who still believes that global warming is a hoax, then they have about as much sense as a #2 lead pencil.
PBS is reporting that the world's richest man, Jeff Bezos, heard about "Billy", and said that he would gladly pay to have him flown back to the North Pole.