UK bog-roll importer does mega-deal with German producer before 'UK Crap Hits the EU Fan!'

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 11 November 2020

image for UK bog-roll importer does mega-deal with German producer before 'UK Crap Hits the EU Fan!'
A paranoid condition most Brits just cannot deal with; empty fucking bog-rolls, AAAAGH!

(NOT EDITED) Many Brit entrepreneurs are gearing up for the latest phase in EU-UK trade talks just in case BOJO cannot remove his head out of his rear-end in time, and allows the UK to crash out without a trade deal.

One clever entrepreneur, who deals in 'cleaning up shit', reacted much faster than Conservative politicians, who have been dithering and dealing for the last four years with the EU, and still cannot reach an agreement, very 'fishy!'

This clever chap purchased 5 billion non-tarief-bog-rolls from Germany, VAT free. He cleverly 'locked' in to Brits 'Angst' who believe they cannot wipe their rear-ends clean during lockdown. The UK is the only nation on the planet which has this form of paranoia, apart from the US, but they're paranoid about Aliens invading their nation too!

His bog rolls were distributed to supermarkets all over the country, and within 5 days sold out! Queues and queues of potentially, dirty-bum Brits, stood outside hoping they would at least get twenty packets to see them through the latest lockdown, which should end on December 2nd!

The Brit entrepreneur, who voted for Brexit, clever chap, has purchased a multi-million-Euro villa on Ibiza, and thanked brilliant German business acumen for beating inevitable, 'UK Shit Hitting the EU Fan'. He now resides on the beautiful island, partying day and night, while paranoid Brits rush to the bog, after eating Indian take-aways, praying they never get diarrhea just in case their stocks run out before Christmas!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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