LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – The news media is reporting that an emotional support parrot totally disrupted a Jet Blue flight from New York City to Los Angeles.
The Peruvian parrot, named Guinevere, but who has been dubbed "Polly the Insult Parrot," caused havoc on the flight.
About 15 minutes into the flight, the parrot owned by Elvira Sue Danube, 56, began to insult the female flight attendant.
Guinevere yelled out as the attendant went down the aisle with her drink cart, “Hey bitch you call that a hairdo? I’ve seen prettier moss on Lake Michigan.”
The sarcastic parrot then turned to one of the female passengers and asked her why the hell she only shaved one leg.
When a heavyset male passenger walked by Guinevere, she yelled out that he looked like a giant Idaho potato with eyebrows.
The man told her to shut the eff up. She then started hollering out that she had been molested by a great big, fat, tall man with a little prick.
The man grabbed Guinevere by the throat and started chocking her. But luckily the air marshal intervened, knocking the out-of-control passenger to the floor, and taking him into custody.
Elvira Sue remarked that Guinevere only suffered a few ruffled feathers.
And, although she was quite traumatized, she finally calmed down after she was given seven crackers that had been soaked in Johnny Walker Red.