Loser, A Play Coming Soon To Broadway

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 11 November 2020

image for Loser, A Play Coming Soon To Broadway
"Another opening, another show..."

Loser, a play about Donald Trump, is coming soon to Broadway. Writers are working day and night, hoping to have it ready for its Broadway opening on inauguration day, January 20.

As a homage to the highly successful play Hamilton, all dialogue in Loser will be spoken in rap verse.

The role of Melania Trump, without any spoken lines, will be performed by a marble statue pulled on wheels. The statue will have a costume change whenever entering stage right.

The title role of Loser will be performed by the same adult actor playing Trump as a child sent away to a military school, being released, entering college, being released, entering the business world, losing the casinos, evolving into a TV star, eventually canceled, elected to the White House and losing the election.

Unlike the Melania statue, having various costume changes, the Donald Trump character will wear the same blue suit with a floor-sweeping red tie. The character of Rudolph Giuliani will wear a clown costume, and will constantly speak out loud or in a lower voice in the background, sort of like a single person Greek chorus, or the moderator from Our Town.

Donald Trump Jr. will have a short role, followed on stage by five children, the youngest pulling a wagon with the body of a stuffed toy elephant and a stuffed toy giraffe. Trump Jr. will just move across the stage every so often, saying: “I got it, dad, I got it, dad, I got it, dad.”

Meryl Streep and Anthony Hopkins are both vying for the role of Donald Trump, though British actor Hopkins has his doubts about speaking in rap verse for two hours.

Tickets for the Loser premiere have already been sold out at $25,000 each. None of the profits from the ticket sales will go to the Trump family.

Trump plans to sue for a cut in the profits, but like the play's title, he'll lose.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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