Sources: Giuliani Went to Sandusky, Ohio Instead of Ukraine Looking for Wrong Guy Named Zalinsky
Washington - Sources have revealed that the Trump/Giuliani efforts to convince Ukrainian officials to dig up dirt on political opponent Joe Biden were delayed when Rudy erroneously traveled to Sandusky, Ohio looking for the CEO of Zalinsky Auto Parts...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Squashes Cockroach
In a show of brilliance that made a mockery of descriptions of him as a lumbering carthorse with little or no turn of pace, Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire moved like a bullet out a gun earlier today, when he trod on a co...
Read full storyAmerican Sports Agent Jerry Maguire will Acquire Harry Maguire as Client
Manchester, UK. The Spoof Sports Network. In a stunning move that rocked the world of professional sports, Jerry Maguire, aka Tom Cruise, the notorious American sports agent formerly with Sports Management International [SMI], has reportedly taken...
Read full storySean Dyche Praises Summer Signing Sack of Gravel Ahead of Villa Clash
Burnley Football Club broke its transfer record by signing a sack of gravel from Dinamo Zagreb to bolster its midfield in the summer, and the inanimate building material is likely to make its first appearance in the Premier League against Aston Villa...
Read full storyAll Whistleblower Songs Are Now Banned
Mar-A-Lago, FL "Because of all the controversy over whistle blowing and whistling, etc., I believe the nation is getting too riled-up on all this whistling business. So, for the good of the nation, I am passing an executive order banning all songs ha...
Read full storyPuff Piece on Clouds Works on Multiple Levels
Touting the wonders of nature and the environment while avoiding any mention of global warming, a puff piece on clouds featured on the front page of the Miami Daily Record succeeded on mutiple levels. "It went into how clouds look so fluffy and ma...
Read full storyCIA Secretly Bugged Trump’s Albino Raccoon Hair Piece
BILLINGSGATE POST: It was 6:00 AM in Washington. Those beady eyes that peered back at President Trump from the mirror when he adjusted his albino raccoon hairpiece missed nothing. The hidden camera that the CIA secretly embedded in his hair swirls w...
Read full storyRetired Technical Documentation Writer Leaves Audience In Tears After Stirring And Emotional Speech
Los Angeles, California. Retired Technical Documentation Writer, Tom Wall, 64, left his audience in tears last Thursday after describing all of the barriers he had to overcome in order to obtain a 30-year career producing instructional manuals for v...
Read full storyManchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Discovered To Be A Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 Terminator
Emergency talks are still in progress at Old Trafford this afternoon, after it was discovered that Manchester United boss and former player, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, is not, in fact, human, but a cybernetic organism consisting of living tissue over a ro...
Read full storyClairvoyant Cockroach Uses Mystic Powers To Divine Truth On Harry Maguire
BILLINGSGATE POST: Behind the smoke and mirrors lies the truth. Ephemeral as it is, as fleeting as it is, as Carnac as it is, the Truth shall set you free. In a secret cave that only Google has the exact location, Clarence the Clairvoyant Cockro...
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