American Sports Agent Jerry Maguire will Acquire Harry Maguire as Client

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 27 September 2019

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Manchester, UK. The Spoof Sports Network. In a stunning move that rocked the world of professional sports, Jerry Maguire, aka Tom Cruise, the notorious American sports agent formerly with Sports Management International [SMI], has reportedly taken over contract negotiations for the UK's most notable athlete, Manchester United's Harry Maguire.

The American Maguire will immediately begin talks with Manchester United regarding the football Magure's new contract, seeking a ten year, $750 million agreement that will make both Maguires the richest men in their respective professions. With what he has already earned in his previous years, this would make Maguire the first billion-dollar athlete.

Agent Maguire hasn't learned how to calculate in pounds or Euros, and still works only with American dollars.

Jerry is expected to move permanently to the UK, severing all his American clients and devoting all his efforts toward Harry. The two Maguires are rumored to be very distant cousins.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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