Manchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Discovered To Be A Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 Terminator

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 27 September 2019

image for Manchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Discovered To Be A Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 Terminator
Solskjaer without his make-up, earlier

Emergency talks are still in progress at Old Trafford this afternoon, after it was discovered that Manchester United boss and former player, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, is not, in fact, human, but a cybernetic organism consisting of living tissue over a robotic endoskeleton - in short, a Terminator.

Solskjaer, 46, signed for the Reds in July 1996, and achieved the status of 'super sub' due to his knack of coming on as substitute, and scoring crucial goals.

Nicknamed 'the Baby-faced Assassin', he played 366 games for United, finding the net 126 times.

On Wednesday night, however, responding to a particularly pointed question during a post-match interview about his team's narrow victory over Rochdale in the Carabao Cup, he fixed the interviewer with a piercing ice-cold stare, and told him:

"Get out!"

The interviewer, caught off guard, asked:

"Eh?"

Solskjaer slowly glanced left and right, then said:

"I'll be back."

He then turned and walked away.

The interviewer instinctively left the building as fast as his legs would carry him.

The Old Trafford medical unit examined Solskjaer late into the night, and are expected to make a statement in the near future about the termination of his contract.

It is not thought that the Norwegian is one of the liquid metal, shape-shifting T1000 series as portrayed by Robert Patrick in the movie, 'Terminator 2: Judgment Day', otherwise there might be more trouble getting rid of him.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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