Every word in the English language now deemed offensive by someone
As of yesterday, the word "a" was the final written representation of the English language to be deemed offensive. Snidely McWhiplash, Chairman of the Center for Pain-Free Living, stated that labeling something "a" person or "a" place or thing...
Read full storyIs The Devil In The White House?
Is the devil living in the White House? Did the Damien character of The Omen film finally make it? The news media is quietly investigating whether The Omen prophecy has become a reality with Donald Trump as the grown-up Damien. Forget the Mueller inv...
Read full storyFish claim compensation
A school of mackerel, represented by their attorney, Donald Bass, has filed a claim for compensation from federal authorities on account of unfair exploitation within the English language. "It's a delicate issue," explained Bass. "My clients are b...
Read full storyBrooklyn Man Brings Sorely Lacking Gravitas to His Social Circle
Noting that his conversations with his buddies tended to devolve into a great deal of laughing, joking around, and poking fun at their ridiculous lives, Ben Hayes of Brooklyn, New York, felt a personal responsibility to provide the component sorely l...
Read full story“Marijuana Has No Lasting After Effects” - HORSE MANURE!!!!!
They say that using pot has no lasting effects on the brain. Well, I have an ongoing experiment in that very field of study in my own apartment everyday. Living in a work apartment brings one into contact with people one normally would never meet,...
Read full storyJussie Smollett Abandons Chess Game With Mate
Jussie Smollett, the former actor who suffered a mental breakdown recently, has been trying to get his life back together with the help of his family and friends, to no great avail. Last week, for instance, one of his closest friends who did not w...
Read full storySquirrels' Vote to be ignored
Jeremy Corbyn gleamed with delight at the close of Labour's Extraordinary Party Conference in Hastings at the weekend. "Yes, we have to be prepared for government. Theresa May and her Conservatives are leading us up blind alleys with nonsensical p...
Read full storyTheresa May in meaningful mood
So now, after months of strong and stable government and intensive planning, Parliament is to be allowed a vote on results: a meaningful vote. Answering questions in Downing Street, May looked thrilled with developments. "I'm being stable and fai...
Read full storyChuckle Brother Has Learnt To Laugh Again
When Barry Chuckle, one half of the Chuckle Brothers died in August 2018, Paul Chuckle, the other half, was hit hard. The pair were more than showbusiness brothers, they were real-life brothers, as their surname suggests, and blood is thicker than...
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