'Global Warming' Sends Britain Into Further Chaos!
A severe weather warning has been re-issued for this afternoon, with more snow predicted for southern England and Greater London. Heavy falls across large parts of Britain brought widespread disruption and prompted authorities to warn against trav...
Read full storyNapoleon Mouseheart retreats from Edinburgh
The all-conquering English leader Napoleon Mouseheart had tried to invade Scotland from England with his superbly organised army, but today had to order them to retreat from the outskirts of Scotland's capital city of Edinburgh, due to the appalling...
Read full storyAbominable Snowwoman Spotted By Edmund Hillary On Everest
May 29,1953. Nepal. The legendary abominable snowwoman was today spotted by New Zealand mountaineer Edmund Hillary, just before he reached the peak of Mount Everest with his guide Sherpa Tensing. 'It was a very frightening sight', Hillary said, us...
Read full storyDoctor Says Virgin Miley Cyrus Got The Clap From Standing Ovation
A physician specializing in the treatment of venereal disease said that a Penicillin shot should clear Miley Cyrus from a dose of the clap. He also stated that it was entirely possible that the young woman, who he said is much more girlish than woma...
Read full storyWho reads TheSpoof.com?
An internet site known as TheSpoof.com is fast becoming one of the most read sites for people who want to be entertained for free. Some people have run across this site by accident, others have been fortunate enough to have someone drop them the site address online and still others have been bold enough to post it on their FACE BOOK site so EVERYBODY will get the chance to read the funny stuff...
Read full storyMississippi Schools to Ban Reading
In an effort to delist Mississippi as the third-lowest ranking school in national test scores of reading ability, Governor Haley Barbour has decided to ban reading in public schools: "The people of the great state of Mississippi will no longer tolera...
Read full storyFraternity Files Suit to Trademark "Greek"
Sophomore Chuck Waszniewski was sick and tired of being mistaken for someone else at parties. "I'd just run up on this girl on the dance-floor, double-fisting, you know how I do, and we'd start grinding. I'd park right up on that bumper and tail-...
Read full story'Gorgeous' George Galloway in punch-up with Egypt police
El Arish, Gaza - (Rioters): Bethnal Green and Bow MP George Galloway has been involved in a huge punch-up with Egyptian police. He was at the head of a convoy of 150 trucks delivering high grade North Korean explosives....er, 'aid!' - to oppresse...
Read full storyParis Prostitutes Falling On Hard Times
French ladies of the night have fallen on hard times in Paris as the economy has hit them also, and even discount coupons, two-for-one specials and other offers have helped only a little. That's when one lady, Bambi Star (not her real name) decide...
Read full storyHorny Woman Rams Hand Through Restaurant Window
Police say a woman punched through a McDonald's drive-through window because the Chicken McNuggets she ordered weren't available. Police were called Monday to the restaurant They say 36-year-old Helen Damation was treated for injuries, then jai...
Read full storyMuch Controversy Over Taylor Swift New Double Album: "Best Of Country"
No one does country music like new sensation, Taylor Swift, no matter if it's a slow ballad or a tail-shaking boot stomping boogie! But the selections on her latest, "The Best Of Country" is leaving several people shaking their heads. Swift told r...
Read full storyKaty Perry dumps Russell Brand
London - (Satanic Sluts Mess): It's just one week Since Russell Brand was seen going down on US model Katy Perry, on bended knee, outside the Taj Mahal. And now the wedding's off! The pair were spotted this afternoon outside Squiffany's of Bond...
Read full storyAl Gore hiding in cave in Afghanistan
Al Gore has gone into hiding and is believed to be in a cave in Afghanistan. Gore has reportedly fled because he has been snowed under with letters, emails and writs because of the problems he has caused people with his global warming lectures. Ma...
Read full storyMariah Carey Celebrates Movie Award with New Bustier
Reportedly stumbling through her acceptance speech as well as across the stage on her exit, Mariah Carey nearly fell out of her new, dramatically "pushed up" bustier while receiving an industry movie award. Giving a new meaning to the term "seriou...
Read full storyZac and Vanessa To Perform For The U.S. Troops In Detroit
HOLLYWOOD - Zac Efron's agent has just confirmed that he and Vanessa Hudgens have agreed to perform a concert for the American combat troops currently stationed in Detroit. Hayden Applebocker, Efron's agent said that he has been approached by the...
Read full storyTiger get's some good news and some bad news
Tiger Woods has been getting some good news lately. Some of his big time sponsors are sticking by him and he has even gotten a few new ones. However he has also gotten some bad news and is going to need a lot more than new sponsors as his assets...
Read full storyJoan Rivers Barred From Boarding An Airplane In Costa Rica Because She's The Wrong Gender
BANANAVILLE, Costa Rica - Comedienne Joan Rivers was not allowed to board a plane bound for Newark, New Jersey because her passport read Joseph Rosenberg instead of Joan Rosenberg her real name. The airline agent identified as Eppie De La Nutterwo...
Read full storyMan Demands Preferential Treatment As Lesbian
A Rhode Island man has demanded that his company and state government give him the same preferential treatment that they currently give to Lesbians. Jack Thimble has also demanded that his children, spouse, and other family members receive the same...
Read full storyPalin to Become Rhodes Scholar
In a surprising development, Sarah Palin's decision to quit the governorship of Alaska has been tied to her acceptance of a Rhodes scholarship to Oxford University. The Right Honorable Lord Patten of Barnes, chancellor of Oxford, released a prepared...
Read full storyToo Many Cooks Spoil Broth
"La Shite", the upscale local restaurant specialising in shite food has gone into liquidation after blowing a wad of cash by buying in a bunch of TV chefs purely for a publicity stunt. Ugly, craggy-faced gonad-featured Gordon Ramsey, Marco-Pierre...
Read full storySpoof Writer Taken To Hospital in Drunk and Comatose State; No Change After 24 Hours Except He's Less Drunk
Spoof writer and union rabble rouser Ian Skoobinski was taken to a local hospital after being discovered in a drunk and catatonic state. His wife found him passed out by his favorite recliner and in front of their television set. A study of televis...
Read full storyUpset Amnesiac Reveals "I Thought I'd Married A Virgin, But Found Out She'd Been Sleeping With Me For Three Years"
Donald Riverton is upset and seeking counseling for a unique situation. The 24 year old school teacher, who is a recovering amnesiac and a school teacher in the Clark County school system, says that he thought he was marrying a girl who was pure and...
Read full storyBrown Leadership challenge
Gordon Browns leadership is again under attack with calls for a secret ballet. Meanwhile Brown was at a No coordination centre sorry a Snow Coordination centre in London. When you think about it though maybe he should be in a no coordination cent...
Read full story'The Hillary Clinton Monster Face' by Bobby Pickle and the Crypt-Kicker Five
'I was working in the lab, late one night When my eyes beheld, a terrible sight For my monster from her slab did arise And suddenly, to my surprise She pulled a face She pulled a monster face She pulled a face It annoyed in a dash A monster face It was a monster face She pulled a face She pulled a monster face From my laborat'ry in, the castle east I sure was scared, of this mad b...
Read full storyWomen Upset At Men Administering New TSA Security Screening
The new security screening device being tested by the T.S.A. has come under fire for the lack of privacy and for the intensity of the scan. The machine sees through clothing and can reveal intimate parts of a person's anatomy or undergarments. Wo...
Read full storyWarren Beatty Comes Clean - It Wasn't 12,755 Women, It Was Only 9,871
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Warren Beatty says that when he read that he had slept with 12,755 women he smiled and then he started laughing. He said that he was not sure of the number, but he felt that the figure of 12,755 was too high. So he went up into h...
Read full storyStallone Suffers Woodworm Injury
Sylvester Stallone is recovering following an attack of woodworm during filming of his latest movie "Rocky Rambo". The woodworm is thought to have entered in his neck and worked it's way into his skull, thus missing his brain by several feet. Stal...
Read full storyA Black Girl This Time
The eleventh woman linked to international world famous golfer today was Traycee Shaniqua Johnson, a 27 year old black cocktail waitress. According to sources, she had boasted about the realationship to several friends, one of whom eventually called...
Read full storyBrown's Bailout for Bankrupt Britain
Gordon Brown revealed his controversial plan to plug the black hole in Britain's finances today, with the launch of his new website cashforgord.web. The scheme will be publicised by extensive media advertising. In an exclusive interview he explain...
Read full storyGordon Brown Admits "We've Run Out Of Gas".
Gordon Brown today confirmed what everyone already suspected. This Labour Government has run out of gas. "There's not much left and the forecast is looking very gloomy" said the troubled PM. Things have got so bad that Lord Mandy Stalin has b...
Read full story"Man" Changes Mind After Sex Change Operation
M. Woods of England (first name withheld upon request) moved to Thailand last year to complete gender reassignment surgery (more commonly known as a sex change operation). The male comedy writer said that he wanted to be a woman, and had felt that w...
Read full storyJamaica: The Number One Ally On The War On Terror
It turns out that one of America's favorite places to drink rum, listen to Reggae, and get mugged five blocks from their hotel, has revealed itself as one of America's strongest allies in the War On Terror. For decades, Americans have enjoyed the...
Read full storyAnonymous Staffer Reveals Obama Spent Hawaiian Christmas Vacation Looking For Birth Certificate
An anonymous White House staffer named Rex Stubble, speaking on conditions of anonymity, said that Barack Obama's Christmas Hawaiian vacation's main purpose was to attempt to find or create a birth certificate. The President has apparently been sea...
Read full storyAnorexics Lindsay Lohan and Calista Flockhart to star in Celebrity Biggest Loser
The Biggest Loser, Celebrity Edition has signed two noted actresses to appear in their upcoming season. Movie actress Lindsay Lohan and television actress Calista Flockhart will appear on episodes to begin televising in March. These actresses hav...
Read full storyMegan Fox Upset By Presidential Grope: "If Obama Wants To See My Naked Titties, He Can Look On the Internet Like Everyone Else"
Actress Megan Fox, star of a lot of really bad Hollywood movies that don't really matter, had a run-in with President Barack Obama on her Hawaiin vacation over the Christmas Holidays. The starlet, known mostly for her two talents and an ass that won...
Read full storyCNN Bans The Foul-Mouthed Kathy Griffin For Life!
NEW YORK CITY - One of America's foulest mouthed females has gotten herself banned from CNN. Kathy Griffin, aka "Potty Mouth" was told by a spokesperson for CNN that due to the fact that she uttered the F word a total of 69 times during her live t...
Read full storyIndianapolis Colts Decide To Rest Starters Until Super Bowl
The Indianapolis Colts have decided to rest all of their starting players in the playoffs until the team reaches the Super Bowl. A spokesman said that "people like Peyton Manning are just too important to risk in playoff games or conference cham...
Read full storyDanyl Johnson, Olly Murs, and Lloyd Daniel Join To Form Boy Band - X-Factory
LONDON - Simon Cowell, CEO of 19th Hole Productions and ex-boyfriend of Pixie Lott, has verified the rumor that had been circulating between London and Portsmouth. Three of this years X-Factor male contestants have joined to form a trio. The three...
Read full story'Twilight' Movies Really Good - Pattinson And Stewart Excellent - Gervais And Dee
It was something of a surprise when British comedians Ricky Gervais and Jack Dee - both renowned for their sardonic wit - came out unanimously in support of the Twilight movies starring teen heart-throbs Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Speak...
Read full storyConjoined Twins Marry Conjoined Twins, Having Sex Problems
Conjoined twins Berniece and Euniece Watson's recent marriage to conjoined twins, Jack And Goff Spume has gotten off to a rocky start. At least on their wedding night. The fire department had to come and later, the rescue squad, both having it's h...
Read full storyQueen's Russian Christmas Day Shocker At Gritter Lorry Collapse In Glacial Royal Vagina!
Sandringham - (True Grit): A Do Not Resuscitate tattoo on her octogenarian arse has proved too much for the scrapyard rustbucket sent in to grit the royal innards. A Russian Christmas Day present from Prime Monster Vladimir Pootin the gritter lorr...
Read full storyBond Franchise Dumps Director Mendes for Mike Myers
While still in the planning phase for the next 007 film, and having secured Daniel Craig again for the lead role, the James Bond franchise holders have decided to pull their directorial offer to Sam Mendes of 'American Beauty' and 'Road to Perdition'...
Read full story"Not In A Gay Way" To Enter Street Dictionary
The much used term, "Not in a gay way" is to be included in the next edition of the ever popular 'Street Talk Dictionary.' The dictionary describes the origins of the term as 'uncertain' and its usage as frivolous and light hearted, usually a rema...
Read full storyUK Residents Build Low Cost Igloos
Following a joint drive by UK local authorities,to encourage low-cost housing, the residents of Dona Street, Stockport have designed and built their own environmentally friendly solution. Stockport Council is the first to express an interest in expan...
Read full storyTigers Balls for sale on Ebay
The last golf balls used by Tiger Woods in a major golf championship are up for sale on ebay. Some people think that the last golf balls used by Tiger could be worth a fortune because there is a chance he may never return to the golf course because...
Read full storyConjoined Twins Deny Split - No Nine Irons Involved
At a hastily convened press conference here at the Oasis Motel here in Chattanooga (Coo Choo!) celebrity conjoined twins Mary and Terry McBriar, tearfully denied that they had split with their spouses, conjoined twins Buck and Percival Pissgums, star...
Read full storyA cure for dartitis
Dartitis pronounced dart-eye-tis is a condition suffered by dart players who for some psychological reason cannot release the dart. A lot of dart players suffer from it but it was first recognised when former 5 times champion of the World Eric Bristo...
Read full storyMr Ed the talking horse speaks out
Mr Ed the talking horse has been speaking out after the announcement that all odds in future are going to be in decimal rather than traditional starting prices. For example 5-2 will now be 3.5. When we spoke to Mr Ed at his stable in Newmarket he...
Read full storyHigh Diver dies in freak accident
A Spanish man died today when his record attempt to high dive into a bucket of water from 30,000 feet failed. Daredevil Miguel Smith had previously set records for leaping over a speeding train, being run over by 10 cars and being eaten by an elep...
Read full storyThe Tiger, The Lionman & Mr Sheen
The Tiger alias Tiger Woods the Lionman Craig Busch and Mr Sheen alias Charlie Sheen have to meet to discuss their downfall caused by their treatment of women. Tiger Woods the worlds greatest golfer is in a lot of trouble because he has had more b...
Read full story14 Month Old Boy Injured In Chop Stick Drama
Birmingham Chinese restaurant Mr Wong's was closed last night following a bizarre incident. A 14 month old boy narrowly escaped death when he was mistaken for a number 52, chicken in black bean sauce. The boy suffered minor brain injuries when Gor...
Read full storyHow To Write Limericks What Don't Scan
Fixated with parts of the body and can't write for tuppence? Wish you you could even write a limerick correctably? Then here is the template for the perfect poemtry: There once was a tit who was an adolescent fixated git He couldn't even write just an incy wincy ickle bit The Moon rhymed with June The git churned out garbage that his 5-year old sister could better at a shot And they all cri...
Read full story'Dem Onion' by Barack Obama and The Bleatles
The 'Prefab One' continued his impressive musical career by releasing 'Dem Onion' with his band The Bleatles. These are the lyrics: 'I didn't mention Iraqi oil fields You know, the place where gold flows Well, here's another place I won't take on A place which everyone knows Rules the U S of A Dressed up as a democracy Taking out my Dem onion (sniff sniff) I forgot about Gaza City, m...
Read full storyWhat Pushkin Should Have Done
The great poet Pushkin sat at his desk. It was late at night and he was busy finishing another epic poem about love and honour. "This will surely win me another award" he thought to himself. Suddenly his wife burst into the room, sobbing. "My darling, what has caused you so much distress?" asked the poet. "It's the guardsman, Dantes. He is telling all Moscow that I have an enormous wart on my b...
Read full storyWife Doesn't Commit Act Of Treason By Writing A Dull Soap Opera About Food
An unfunny wife today was charged with treason by the Unfunny Committee of Unamerican Lack of Humor for daring to drone on and on about chilli peppers, about as interesting as anything else that is American, i.e. not interesting at all. 'I had jus...
Read full storyScientists want to get hold of Warren Beatty's Penis
Warren Beatty has become somewhat of a celebrity, not for his acting talents, but for his bedroom talents. The Academy of Penile Science in Berkley California are hoping to get hold of Warren's penis to study it now, or after he is deceased. Pe...
Read full storyBad Darts Organisation
Darts fans who have been watching the PDC World Darts Championship from Alexandra Palace in London which was won by Phil The Power Taylor have been treated to the best quality darts in any darts competition ever as there were over 500 scores of 180,...
Read full storyWhiteout Hits UK - Gay Community And BNP Ecstatic
As the big freeze brought Arctic conditions to parts of the UK, with snow tumbling from the sky like wet confetti, roads blocked by ice and abandoned vehicles, and the entire transport infrastructure in tatters, at least certain minority groups had r...
Read full storyAva-Monroe Johnson's Kazakh relatives in Dannielynn Birkhead-esque legacy fight
Los Angeles - (Reuterus): Fears of a Borat-style Kazakh custody and inheritance farce loom over the bereaved Johnson family. So far there's little actual likelihood of a Virgie Arthur/Judge Larry Seidlin/Howard K Stern/Larry Birkhead public punchu...
Read full storyMan City Table Leeds United Bid
World's richest football club Manchester City have shocked the footballing community this afternoon ahead of the January transfer window by slapping in a transfer bid to buy the entire Leeds United team after the Yorkshiremen defeated City's city riv...
Read full storyPoetry Doubts
Does my lack of poetic training show? Does the prose in my 'poems' properly flow? Is the imagery clear for all to see? Or are my bored readers just laughing at me? Does a carpenter make good cupboards right from the start? Do his dovetails fit snugly? Are doors straight and smart? Is everything perfect, with no tiny gaps? Or do the doors swing wide open, and the shelving collapse? Do m...
Read full storyFrance Adopts A Brand New Flag
PARIS - The French government realizing that they have to get with the program and become politically correct has decided to replace their country's traditional flag with one that is much more appropriate and in keeping with the modern day French att...
Read full storyZZ Top To Open For Susan Boyle In Houston
HOUSTON - The little ol' band from Texas, ZZ Top has just celebrated their 40th year in the rock and roll business. And the word on the streets of Houston is that the band has agreed to open up for Susan Boyle when she performs at The Oil Well Dom...
Read full storyLimericks
Limericks are fun, aren't they, children? And they're easy to write too. There are five lines in a limerick, with the first, second and last lines rhyming with each other, and the third and fourth lines rhyming with each other as well. There's a simple 3, 3, 2, 2, 3 syllable pattern as well. Limericks were a great source of fun in the long-ago days when there were no Playstations, and there was...
Read full storyOde to Jimmy, Bogie, and Eddie G.
We're losing our rights and privileges Our lives swoon in a whirl The guilty sneer unpunished While the victims meekly twirl It wasn't like this so long ago When right and wrong were clear As we held to a code of honor Like life itself, t'was dear Cagney, Bogart and Robinson: Understood what this code was about And if anyone tried to screw with them They'd simply rub'em out. We...
Read full storyLesbian Lane-Now has New Name
Who knows who is and who isn't but then who cares is the attitude of most Hollywood know it alls. What seems to have a lot of people in an agitated state this week is a local newspaper report that asks the pertinent question; "If you live on Les...
Read full storyNursing Home Administrator Investigated
It has come to light that the Twilte Nursing Home Administrator in Tampa Florida has been selfishly keeping gifts meant for the residents for himself. The nursing home administrator Clyde Klochmeyer was recently investigated and found to have more...
Read full storyBilly Connolly To Take The Reins At Turf Moor
Following Owen Coyle's shock defection to Bolton Wanderers, Burnley Chairman, Frank Sideboard this evening announced that the Premier League club already had it's eye on a possible successor. "We're giving serious consideration to offering Billy C...
Read full storySpineless Co-joined Twins Slither into Miss Universe History!
Buenos Aires - In a twist of fate, or perhaps just twisted in general, the co-joined McBriar twins, Terry and Mary, sung and bounced their way into the hearts of thousands in Buenos Aires and millions around the world in the international Miss Univer...
Read full storyAuction website investigates FLAKE
The top auction site on the internet is investigating a seller who has put up for bids one million snow flakes with a starting bid of $1.00 per flake. The seller has a rating of 0 and has had no prior dealings either selling or buying on the site.
Read full storyTop Secret, Don't Tell
It was reported today by White House Correspondent Joyce Amagone that the First Lady is becoming restless in her big house and looked to her aide for something to do. A suggestion was made that perhaps the First Lady could have her own reality sho...
Read full storyRosie is still trying to annoy Donald Trump
Already breaking news regarding Rosie O'Donnel posing nude in a gay women's magazine, this top line celebrity has gone one step further and has asked the publication Play Girl to let her pose nude for them. Famous for getting Levi Johnston's ful...
Read full storyTripod Towers To Surpass Burj Dubai Within Weeks
Burj Dubai, the 828m (2,716ft) skyscraper out in the gulf is currently enjoying it's spell as the world's tallest building, but US developer Bargis 'The Tripod' Tryhol, is promising that his own project will surpass the Burj within weeks. And he c...
Read full storyPOTUS Demands Nigerian Bomber Must Receive New Penis Before Prosecution!
President Hussein Obama, Jr., reacted strongly against calls to prosecute the 'Nigerian Bomber' until he 'got his Johnson Back', according to Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, himself no stranger to being called a 'dick less C**** by critics. Umar Far...
Read full storyBelichick Admits that Casserly Stole High School Sweetheart
The verbal dueling continued between CBS analyst Charley Casserly and Patriots head coach Bill Belichick. On Monday, Belichick had asked: "Who's been wrong more than Charley Casserly since he left the Redskins?" Belichick said. "His percentage is li...
Read full storyQueen of England "drops her drawers"
The Queen is embarrassed about an incident recently which occurred at the Palace. It was reported that she was in her private quarters where she has her own computer set up and was reading through the satire stories about her family on thespoof.co...
Read full storyAn E-Mail Rant - Moron E-Mail
Originally the section title here was going to be "More on E-mail", but then I realized the little play on words does a better job of describing the subject matter. I just can't stand the way some people in the workplace use e-mail for political purposes rather than for basic communication which is of course what it was designed for in the first place. I don't think the people who created the ea...
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