Anorexics Lindsay Lohan and Calista Flockhart to star in Celebrity Biggest Loser

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

image for Anorexics Lindsay Lohan and Calista Flockhart to star in Celebrity Biggest Loser
Lindsay wants to drop twenty pounds....a lobotomy might help!

The Biggest Loser, Celebrity Edition has signed two noted actresses to appear in their upcoming season. Movie actress Lindsay Lohan and television actress Calista Flockhart will appear on episodes to begin televising in March.

These actresses have been noted in the past for their anorexic appearance and less than skinny frames. When asked why they would appear on a television show promoting weight loss, Lindsay said that "every girl always has an extra twenty or thirty pounds that she needs to get rid off. There's always a dress or pair of pants in the closet that is getting a little too tight."

Calista agreed. "It's all got to do with people's perception of you and your perception of yourself. If people see us as fat, and we think that we're fat, then we're fat! I'm not trying to insult my co-star, but both of us have been packing on the weight and getting a little chunky. I mean, for lunch we must have eaten half of a celery stick and a whole carrot stick each! Give us then minutes and we'll be running to the bathroom to purge."

When producers were asked why stars like the girl from Precious or Rosie O'Donnell were not signed to their show, they answered with "neither one looks good in a bikini. Besides, who wants to watch fat people?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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