Bond Franchise Dumps Director Mendes for Mike Myers

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

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Bond, James Bond. Are you going to finish that pickle?

While still in the planning phase for the next 007 film, and having secured Daniel Craig again for the lead role, the James Bond franchise holders have decided to pull their directorial offer to Sam Mendes of 'American Beauty' and 'Road to Perdition' fame, in order to take the film in a different direction.

Enter Mike Myers from the world of Second City, Saturday Night Live and various movies about another fictional but famous secret agent character, Austin Powers. Though the Mendes announcement met significant criticism from the press and Bond fans alike, the Myers selection signifies that the Bond character will be taking on a completely different persona in the next film.

Publicit Wedgewood Tuckles, says that the directorial shift was intentional and indicative of a new era for Bond. "We see the Bond character remaining tough, determined and gritty, but with the ability to do a little slapstick comedy as well. That means Craig is the perfect Bond, and Myers is the perfect director."

Fans don't know what to make of the shift, blogging with both positive and negative expectations for the next film in the franchise. The Bond fan base remaining mostly male, would be statistically just as likely to see a Bond film or a Myers spoof film, or both.

"In short, you will probably see more comedic scenes with Q, than dramatic scenes with M, in the next film. Ms. Dench may not be pleased." Says Tuckles.

"Which reminds me", Tuckles called out to his secretary. "Book a meeting with John Cleese. We need to apologize for dumping him a while back".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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