Warren Beatty Comes Clean - It Wasn't 12,755 Women, It Was Only 9,871

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 6 January 2010


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Larry King asking Warren Beatty about his "magical" number.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Warren Beatty says that when he read that he had slept with 12,755 women he smiled and then he started laughing.

He said that he was not sure of the number, but he felt that the figure of 12,755 was too high. So he went up into his attic, where he keeps his "Scorebook."

He took it out, dusted it off, and turned to the last page. It was dated March 10, 1992. On it he had written: I am marrying Annette (Bening) today and so therefore, my "Magic" number will stop at 9,871.

Since the disclosure of his sexual prowess was disclosed, Beatty has only made one television appearance and that was on Live With Larry King.

King asked him if the 12,755 number was a good number. Beatty raised his eyebrows and replied that it wasn't. King asked him if the number should be higher.

Beatty chuckled and said that no the number was much lower. When King pressed him, Beatty replied that the exact number was 9,871.

King asked him where the 12,755 number had come from. And Warren replied that he would have to ask the writer of the book, Peter Biskinds.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Biskinds book about Beatty is entitled, 'Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America.' Biskinds has also written a book about Madonna entitled, 'Singer: How Madonna Seduced 3.7 million Americans, Englishmen, Frenchmen, and A Few North Koreans.']

King asked Beatty that out of all 9,871, which woman was the best in bed. Warren did not miss a beat and answered, Annette Bening.

Larry replied, but of course. Okay so who comes in second and please pardon the pun. Beatty smiled, pondered the question and replied, Ali McGraw. King asked why her.

Beatty replied because she had the biggest and prettiest champagne corks that he had ever seen.

"Champagne corks?" Larry asked, "Warren what the hell are champagne corks?"

"Blouse bullets" Beatty answered.

King looked puzzled and replied that he definitely needed to start reading more.

Larry then told Beatty that he was going to toss out some names and he would like for him to respond by giving him a one sentence comment.

Beatty nodded approvingly.

Jane Fonda. "What the hell was with the damn army helmet?"

Goldie Hawn. "I absolutely hated the body paint."

Gina Lollobrigida. "She taught me how to say rack, assmosis, and groin goody in Italian."

Dyan Cannon. "During our intimate forays, she insisted on facing the TV because she did not want to miss watching her Los Angeles Lakers."

Julie Andrews. [Laughing] "I have to say that the hills were certainly alive with the sound of music; lovely, firm, beautiful music."

Madonna. [Beatty covers his mouth. He quickly stands up with his hand to his mouth and leaves to find a bathroom.]

Larry goes to a commercial. When he returns he tells the viewers that Warren Beatty suddenly took ill and was rushed to the hospital.

SIDENOTE: Beatty was given two sedatives and his stomach settled down. He has agreed to finally seek therapy in regards to his traumatic 1990 affair with Madonna.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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