WASHINGTON, D.C. - Rep. Barney Frank, of Massachusetts, one of six states to approve gay unions, has been elected by a landslide vote as the 2009 Queen of The AC-DC D.C. Gay Pride Parade.
Barney Frank (pronounced BARN-ey WIE-ner) said that he has received many awards and accolades in his many years in political office, but he has never received an honor that was more deserving, warranted, and appreciated.
He said that he will take the tiara and sash and place them both on his French Provincial vanity table in his Martha Stewart commemorative bedroom.
Frank said that it was truly an honor just to have been nominated along with such deserving individuals as Elton John, George Michael, Clay Aiken, and Lancey Bass.
Rep. Frank, who ironically is 69, told the parade committee that he would accept the $700 cash prize but that he would turn around and donate it to the Adam Lambert Academy for The Advancement of Gay Flutists.
The representative from Massachusetts was thrilled to announce that he has convinced the Massachusetts state legislature to sponsor a giant gay balloon for this years Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City.
The big giant gay balloon will be a replica of Ellen DeGeneres. It will have a state-of-the-art electronic gadgetry module system that when triggered will cause the giant gay balloon to dance, but kind of on the not-to-good side like the real Ellen.
Frank spoke with DeGeneres and he said that she was so thrilled that she said that she wanted to donate the air to inflate the giant gay Ellen balloon.
El Frankie, as gay Costa Ricans call him, said that Ellen was excited as the dickens because she had just learned that Taco Bell had named its newest taco after her. They call it La Ellen DeGeneres Meatless Taco.
In a related story. Word out of London is that Elton John has just received permission from Buckingham Palace to adopt two gay hamsters.
