Written by Morse

Monday, 12 October 2009

image for ESPN's New Soccer Co Anchor Erin Andrews Says She Can't Get Enough of "The Big Red One!"
Erin Andrews' Fan Arrives Early to Warm Up his Wienie before Bolton/Man U Tailgate Party at Old Trafford

Erin Andrews, ESPN's hot new soccer co- anchor, along with popular local commentator, Skoob, the Mope from Manchester, says her latest assignment has been the most 'exciting of my career', and despite being required to be impartial, she can't help getting 'excited' when she covers "The Big Red One', a reference to juggernaut Manchester United.

Andrews, also host of "Nude With Erin', a late night adult membership only Blog featuring the Nubile Nymph with Natural Melons, says she got hooked on 'Big Red' after spending time with unadulterated Man U fan Skoob 1999, who makes no bones about being penologically joined to the regional favourite.

"Look mate, " Skoob said after a recent game, " we grew up since we were wee little snots following this team. We scrapped and bled for them, I even did a bit of knee cappin' against some swine from Leed's United back in me ole fightin days...before the gangs had shivs and Glocks an all. It was wot one did, wonnit?"

Skoob still mourns the coming and then going of international star David Beckham, who says Skoob, is just a "regular Bloke....it's that damn bag a bones that's got him all twisted up....if twrn't for her, ole Dave would still be lashin 'em home for Man U!"

Erin, who is single, confesses she has the hots for at least one striking midfielder, but says she's being careful based on past experiences.

"I fell madly in love last season with another gorgeous hunk in short pants...he was a famous NBA player, who just happened to be non Afro-American, but still could dance, shoot and score."

"I was heartbroken, " Erin said, " when I found out he was hitting on my Co-Anchor for the playoffs, Charles Barkley!!"

A very protective Skoob said, " Don't worry about a thing, Erin, if we can't find ya a straight one on the pitch, I'll throw you a quick one meself...Hands Across the Pond an all, doncha know!"

Two tickets remain for the Saturday night match against Bolton at Old Traffod;North Stand/Centre, $73US .

Tailgate party with Erin and Skoob behind the bus, 6:30 Sharp. Stella on Tap, and maybe Pompey Lil in the Porti Potty....! PRICELESS!

Morse, As He Gets It....or Not!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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