Jay Leno's New Show On The Verge of Being Cancelled

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 12 October 2009

image for Jay Leno's New Show On The Verge of Being Cancelled
The building where The Jay Leno Show is filmed. Note the recent earthquake damage.

HOLLYWOOD - An unnamed inside source says that the National Broadcasting Company (NBC) says that there is talk that they may pull the plug on The Jay Leno Show.

The inside source who spoke on grounds of anonymity said that he heard two of the top executives talking and they said that Jay just ain't cutting the mustard anymore.

The source said that at first he just thought that they were talking about Jay's love for hot dogs, relish, and of course mustard.

But when he heard one of the executives say that they have been in communication with Rev. Al Sharpton to be a possible replacement, he knew right then and there that they were not talking about hot dogs.

It has been widely speculated in Tinsel Town that the only reason that NBC gave Leno his 10 p.m. (Eastern) 9 p.m. (Central) time slot was because they did not want him to jump ship and go over to either ABC, CNN, or the Weather Channel.

The television agency that closely monitors viewer habits, The Looky Looky TV Group has said that they have interviewed literally millions of viewers of the Jay Leno Show and more than half have said that they do not like the fact that he no longer has a desk.

One gentleman Edwin Deubendorff, 83, from Dubuque, Iowa said, "Hell, the damn show ain't got a desk. It looks like them NBC fellers are startin' to feel the economic crisis that us hardworking folks have been feeling for a year now."

Mr. Deubendorff added that if NBC cannot afford a desk for Leno then they should at least get him a TV food tray or something.

Another dedicated viewer, Lombardina Bagalino, 5 foot 2, 171 pounds, of Hackensack, New Jersey said that she will no longer watch Mr. Leno. She added that the way NBS (NBC) is doing things next they may have poor Jay interviewing people from one of the backstage hallways.

And Kyla Kizzie Roxboro, a 92-year-old lifetime Baptist, who resides in Harlem said that she loves Jay so much that she named her first born child Lenoquisha.

K.K. remarked that she knows that Jay is not happy. When asked how she can tell she replied that she can tell by the horrendously weird-looking wrinkles in his big gigantic chin. K.K. added, "Dem big sumbitch wrinkles they wasn't there a friggin' month ago."

Even Jay's longtime band director Kevin Eubanks said that he has been told by the higher ups to play songs that do not have as many musical notes so that they can cut down some on their musical notes budget.

The Looky Looky TV Group said that figures do not lie. During the first week that Leno was on the air he was averaging about 1.6 million viewers a night. Two weeks ago the number had gone done to 423,893.

The reputable TV Group said that last week the Jay Leno Show averaged 213 viewers per show. And that's with the fact that on Wednesday he had on the Rolling Stones and Sarah Palin. On Thursday he had on Celine Dion and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and on Friday he had on David Letterman, Grandma Lee, and Kim Jong Il.

In the past Jay Leno has said that if ever gives up his nightly show, he will go apply at Wal-Mart and work as a store greeter. He says he will have the customers rolling in the aisle's...literally.

A top NBC executive who did not want his name revealed said that they have been talking to Rev. Al Sharpton about taking over for Leno for the past two weeks. They have even agreed on a name for the new show. It will be called Da Rev. Al Sharpton Troublemakin' Talk Show.

SIDENOTE A: Rev. Al, as his wife calls him, said that he has already had booking commitments from Beyonce, Michael Jordan, Mike Tyson, The Boston Celtics, Chris Brown, The Harlem Globetrotters, Snoop Dogg, Oprah Winfrey, Puff Diddy, the "First Mama" Michelle Obama and daughters Malia and Sasha, and Kanye "Mr. Microphone" West.

SIDENOTE B: Rev. Sharpton was asked if he by any chance planned on having any white folks on as guests. He grinned like the Harlem cat that ate the Chicago canary and replied, "No...not really."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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