Scary Ann Coulter HELLoween Queen Costume Scare Testicles Off Liberal Home Owners
This seasons hit for terrifying Halloween costumes is the Ann Coulter Bitch of Horror getup. It comes complete with a long, blond wig, a pretty but sour and bloodless looking mask and a mini skirt like the real Coulter wears to make sure that she get...
Read full storyPacker Plot To Do In Favre Exposed By The Enquirer
The Enquirer has gotten the scoop on Mondays infamous Packer-Viking football game in which Brett Favre, one time favorite home boy of Green Bay, returned to Lambeau Field in the hated uniform of their rivals the Minnesota Vikings. They intercepte...
Read full storyMarlon King's Agent Hints At Man United Deal
Disgraced former Wigan striker, Marlon King's agent has hinted that upon his client's release from a custodial sentence, a well known coach is eager to gain his signature. Marlon King was jailed last month for punching 20 year old student Emily Ca...
Read full storyRooney Baby A Chip Off The Old Block
England International and Manchester United star Wayne Rooney today became a proud father for the first time. Wife, Colleen gave birth to a little boy, whom the couple are reported to be naming, Kai Wayne. The couple decided to have the birth in L...
Read full storyVoting Monitor Mark Lowton Takes Away 640,000 Votes From Republicans
The Republican Party is outraged by the taking away of over half a million votes during the upcoming 2012 Presidential election over what Lowton claims is cheating. "It was obvious", claims Lowton. "Every single Republican candidate has been plag...
Read full storyGary Neville Considering Shock Liverpool Switch
34 Year old Manchester United right back, Gary Neville has admitted he would be interested in joining fierce rivals Liverpool if they could match his wages. "A lot of quotes have been attributed to me, which simply are not true", explained the Ma...
Read full storyGiant swastika crossing for Oxford Circus
London - (Sieg Heil!): A massive swastika-shaped pedestrian crossing straddling Oxford Circus was unveiled by London Mayor Herrgruppenfuhrer Boris Johnson today. The removal of traffic lights, previous Berlin Wall-style metal barriers and the ceme...
Read full storyNinja Zombie Sluts on Ice Opens In Town Next Month
Ninja Zombie Sluts on Ice, the newest production for the people who produce The Ice Capades, will open in town next week for a three day, five showing run. The show is directed by Ted Brockmeyer, the man responsible for "Disney Princesses on Ice," "...
Read full storyThe Windbag Kinnock Tapes: "Labour taxed the private pension funds, to help the pension funds!"
In an exclusive preview of the new documentary series called, 'The Windbag Kinnock Tapes', Neil Kinnock talks about British Pensioners on Bournemouth beach. Neil Kinnock, in his own words: "…the kind of support that people who are left in this co...
Read full storyNow Scottish Commonwealth Games athlete Liz McColgan joins the celebrity song craze with her version of The Beatles' 'Back in India':
'Flew in from Broughty Ferry beach last night Jeez my husband he can snore Ate a red hot curry that tasted shite Threw up on the bathroom floor I'm back in India You don't know how lucky you are, guys Not here in India Been so many massacres I hate this place Gee I wish I was back home John, pass me over my medicine case Can't you hear my stomach groan? I'm back in India You don...
Read full storyStrictly Come Dancing's Len Goodman Threatens To Kick Craig Revel Horwood's Ass
LONDON - The latest edition of Strictly Come Dancing was the scene of quite a scene. Crotchety old English Judge Len Goodman got into a heated verbal argument with the somewhat softish Australian Judge Craig Revel Horwood. Goodman, 97, took offens...
Read full storyFormer Dead Wrestler Found Alive In Mexico City
Eduardo Glory "Eddie" "The Late" Juerrero, a popular pro wrestler who was supposed to have died and been buried in Noverber, 2005 has been found alive and wrestling a bear in Mexico City. "So I was a popular wrestler?, asked Eddie when informed o...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Worth More Dead Than Alive
According to several articles on the web and two national magazines, Joe Jackson has passed Joe Biden's record of "number of times of putting foot into your mouth" as Michael's dad stated to reporters that his son was worth more dead than when he was...
Read full storyGarbage Man Arrested for Destroying Material linked to Al-Qaeda
Late last week garbage collector Mike Douglas from New Jersey was arrested for his connection with the Middle Eastern terrorist group Al-Qaeda. Apparently, he had been dispensing of their written communication since early 2006. It is purported that h...
Read full storyFanimal Peperami on U.K. Crime Spree
Photographic evidence taken by a young man on the streets of Kingston Upon Thames near Argyll House yesterday clearly captures one Mr. Fanimal Peperami, local snack sausage character, in the act of stealing a motor bike. Not to be interrupted by the...
Read full story"Bounty" hunters invade Pakistan as government offer "BOUNTIES" for Taliban scalps or turbans with heads!
Global "Bounty" hunters are invading Pakistan after it was announced that the Pakistan government is offering "Bounties" in abundance for Taliban scalps, heads or Turbans with heads! "Bounty" hunters are a rare breed, they hate Mars Bars, Snickers...
Read full story"My voodoo dolls ain't getting thru," says voodoo doc. "I'm gonna hex Billy Hayes!"
British voodoo "rootworker" Dr Snake is not happy that his clients aren't receiving their voodoo dolls, mojos and potions on time due to the current postal strike in Britain. "My clients are ordering voodoo spells from me to bring back lost lovers...
Read full storyMurphy, NC Man Arrested for Not Throwing Trash out his Car Window
Murphy, NC (IPP)- A Murphy, North Carolina man was arresrted today for not throwing trash out of his car window onto the road. Mark Rigdon of Murphy was being followed by Officer Dempsey McClure as he drove down Peachtree Street. The street is t...
Read full storyLeonid Meteor Shower Recalled by International Astronomical Union
Mount Palomar, CA (IPP)- The International Astronomical Union (IAU) has issued a recall for the Leonid meteor shower which originally had been scheduled for the nights of November 17th and 18th. Dr. Povenmire Finootch is the self appointed preside...
Read full storyAmericans Join Taliban for Benefits
Guantanamo, Cuba (IPP)- Americans are arriving at Guantanamo Bay at the rate of over four-hundred per day and are transferring onto Pakistani freighters in the hopes of joining the Taliban. They are trying to enlist in order to receive benefits from...
Read full storyBaby Rooney born with Accrington Stanley logo birthmark
Liverpool - (Nappydural): "From the waist down he's the living image of his father!" a proud Colleen told reporters as young Kai Wayne made his debut appearance at Liverpool Women's Hospital. "Just don't ask where that Accrington birthmark on his...
Read full storyColeen Rooney gives birth to small car
Coleen Rooney, wife of soccer legend Wayne Rooney, today gave birth to a healthy miniature Aston Martin Volante convertible after a difficult 24 hour confinement. The Aston, weighing in at around 8lbs, was reported to be a tasteful shade of sugar-...
Read full storyTony Romo Told To Wear His Baseball Cap Right
DALLAS - The owner of the Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones, has told his star quarterback Tony Romo that he does not want to see him on the sidelines wearing his baseball cap backwards anymore. Jones told Romo that he expects him to wear his baseball c...
Read full storyThe grunting Williams Sisters bore their fans to-DEAF but do donate their winnings to their own anti-grunt charity!
Another very boring epic Willams-Sister's final draws to an end and Serena wins it, WOW, the world just woke up! At least there is one thing positive to come out of the Williams-Sister's saga at last. The multi-millionaire super sisters have de...
Read full storyFord's 3rd Quarter Income Hits $1 Billion!
DEARBORN, Michigan - Ford investors are jumping for joy as their company posted an astounding third quarter income of $1 billion. Company spokesperson Ricky Snowheimer stated that at the last Ford stockholders meeting when the report of the stupen...
Read full storyWindows 7 Better than Harry Potter
Pre-order sales of Microsoft Windows 7, due for release any time now, have soared in recent weeks. Such has been the demand, that on pre-order sales alone, Amazon have announced that it outstripped the previous record holder Harry Potter and the D...
Read full storySchool Administrators Shocked By Students Slow Dancing; Students Say "Just Trying To Close The Gap"
Reports are coming in from across the country that school administrators from grade school to high school are complaining about the behavior of students at sponsored dances. Evidently, the dancing has become so provocative that teachers and administr...
Read full storyFarces sweetheart Dame Vera Lynn to be buried in Sellafield landfill
London - (We'll Meat Again): Relentless World War II self-publicist Dame Vera Bynn Laden is to be carted off to landfill for the sake of the nation's health. The daft as a brush croonette is a perennial shoo-in during Remembrance Week services.
Read full storyVaginal Yeast Credited for Saving Lost Hikers
Following more than three months of exhaustive search, South Dakota officials announced the rescue of five European and U.S. teenagers who have been lost and feared dead somewhere inside Badlands National Park. Planned as a weekend hiking adventur...
Read full storyBeefeaters Are Stark Raven Sexists
The legend has it that when the birds leave the Tower of London then the British crown and British kingdom will fall. This myth doesn't seem to bother some old Yeomen there at the moment though. They have been found guilty of bullying the only femal...
Read full storyNew Six-Month After Birth Control Pill Allows Kid Back Into Mother
Many are hailing a new form of birth control that allows a mother to absorb her six-month old baby back into her womb under doctor's supervision. "It was completely painless", stated Alice Blooberg of Cleveland, Ohio. "I was still all stretched ou...
Read full storyBritney Spears Accuses 16-Year-Old Of Abusing Her
Mad as a hornet, Britney Spears apparently sent police officers to an apartment complex in Queens and told them that an unnamed 16-year-old Harold Shelby had been abusing her every night this past week. After awakening the lad, his father and mot...
Read full storyClapton Donates Personal Item
The 25th Anniversary Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Concerts were less than a week away when headliner Eric Clapton pulled out because of gallbladder surgery. By now, we know that Mr. Clapton is recuperating nicely and that even in his absence, the conc...
Read full storyCyclists complain about new Oxford Circus X-Crossing
A new type of pedestrian crossing system has been unveiled at Oxford Circus in London today. It works by stopping all road traffic from time-to-time so that pedestrians can all traverse the crossroad junction together, either over one road, or diago...
Read full storyDad claims Kermit 'exposed' himself
KERMIT THE FROG, the lovable green hero of TV's The Muppets, has been a family favorite for years. But in claims likely to stun fans, the star has been accused of 'exposing his penis' to children. Bobby-Lee Broke, an unemployed father of two fr...
Read full storyRafa Benitez subs wife during Sunday Lunch
Liverpool Manager Rafa Benitez reportedly substituted his wife yesterday while she was half way through cooking an important Sunday lunch for a group of his English 'amigos'. According to other guests at the Spaniard's palacial Cheshire Villa, Mrs...
Read full storyRafael "raffle" Benitez makes moves to sign snoop dog.
Increasingly under fire Liverpool manager, Rafael Benitez, is set to make a shock move in January for famous American rapper, Snoop Dogg. Benitez theorised to a somewhat stunned press room. "Fact: Ryan Babel is not a very good footballer. Fact: Nor is he a very good rapper. Fact: Snoop Dogg is a very, very good rapper. Fact?: maybe this logic will produce a suprisingly good tall centre f...
Read full storyKatie Price Takes Jordan To High Court
The Double 'D' Life of Jordan. - Katie Price had her day in court with her arch nemesis and alter ego Jordan today. The case came about after Miss Price claimed Jordan was ruining her career through vile public exhibitionism and idiocy. "I was get...
Read full storyAnswered at last: Why Led Zeppelin's songs were so long.
Off the record, to a well-connected insider during an unguarded, vulnerable moment, lead singer/guitarist Robert Page at long last revealed the greatest mystery surrounding the legendary band: why their songs seemed to go on and on. And on!...
Read full storyCoke 3.0
After the recent Anti-trust hearings, Bill Gates recently compared the software market with the soft drink market. He says Microsoft is struggling to survive but that the beverage giant will be on top forever because the Department of Justice doesn't pick on them. Of course, Bill should be careful not to give Coke any ideas. We might end up with a scenario like the following: Joe: (walking into...
Read full storyGovernment rules out ransom deal
The UK government has insisted it will not pay back a ransom to the British taxpayers. The government gave the ransom to a couple of pirates to allow the couple to declare an illegal war, as well as to fund illegal property deals for themselves. T...
Read full storyX-Factor's Rachel Adedeji Is Bid Adieu
LONDON - The pixie-haired, long-legged, highly lipsticked Rachel Adedeji was eliminated from the X-Factor competition. The 17-year-old who wore a dress who's top and bottom came pretty close to meeting in the middle kept turning away from the came...
Read full storyElton John's Doctor Says The Old Crooner Has The Crocodile Rock Flu
LONDON - Elton John's physician, Dr. Reginald Ainsworth has just confirmed rumors that had been circulating around the United Kingdom since last week. Elton John, the 62-year-old glam rock singer who has sold over 200 million records has been affl...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's Randy Jackson Enters Rehab
HOLLYWOOD - American Idol Judge Randy Jackson has voluntarily entered into a rehab program. The African-American-looking AI judge has reportedly checked himself into The Woody Allen Rehab Clinic For The Compulsively Obsessive Obsessed in Tarzana,...
Read full storyAndre Agassi's Toupee: What Was Under It?
Tennis fans the world over are shocked by Agassi's revelation that he wore a toupee during some of his matches. Understanding the interest in this topic, a vigilant Spoof reporter got onto the story immediately, getting the first scoop on what Agass...
Read full storyOn Hearing the News I'm Deaf and Can't Hear Shit, Either!
A senior writer for TheSpoof.com, senior only because of his age, and no reflection on the amount of time he has appeared there, was urged to get a hearing test by his spouse, tired of getting no verbal response to normal conversation. The writer, who figured she had nothing to complain about anyway, since he already took out the garbage, shopped for all the food, walked the dog, put gas in t...
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