Coleen Rooney, wife of soccer legend Wayne Rooney, today gave birth to a healthy miniature Aston Martin Volante convertible after a difficult 24 hour confinement.
The Aston, weighing in at around 8lbs, was reported to be a tasteful shade of sugar-mouse pink with perfectly formed gold wheels and a jet black hood. He has been named Kar.
At an impromptu press conference in the Burger King just down the road from the hospital, Mr Rooney said he was "delighted that everything had, like, gone ok with the little one and that."
When asked about how he felt to have become a dad to little Kar he told reporters: "It's really like well heavy - not the baby, obviously, and it's like well deep too, and lush.
"I don't remember much about the actual, you know, conceptional thing because I'd been out clubbing that night with Giggsy and Scholesy and Ferdinandy and Vidici but I obviously got it in the back of the net when I got home didn't I!
"My Coleen is over the moon. She knows I love her, like, and all that nonsense with the auld slapper is now almost a thing of the past. We always wanted a baby Aston and now we've got our own."
Mrs Rooney was not available for comment. Mainly because I didn't ask her for one.
