Vaginal Yeast Credited for Saving Lost Hikers

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Monday, 2 November 2009

image for Vaginal Yeast Credited for Saving Lost Hikers
Soon to be marketed in your local food store.

Following more than three months of exhaustive search, South Dakota officials announced the rescue of five European and U.S. teenagers who have been lost and feared dead somewhere inside Badlands National Park.

Planned as a weekend hiking adventure through the open South Dakota Plains, this international group of Faceblog and Tweeter friends from the U.S. and U.K. failed to return to their automobile and were reported lost, or at least stupid, three days later. South Dakota teenager Aaron Dahedd, acted as local host and gourmet survivalist for the hike, but admitted to have taken the group well off the marked trails on the first day. "Like, I thought it would be awesome to go where nobody could find us, you know? We got what we wanted, I guess", Dahedd says.

Once food rations ran out, the group was limited to wild grains and plants they could harvest from the surrounding plain. "Dry and crunchy was our only option until we noticed the pungent smell coming from our female friend here", says Mason Brickwell from Kingston Upon Thames, U.K. "Aaron began grinding the grain between flat stones and we borrowed a little yeast from Regina to make campfire wheat bread for dinner."

"I was glad to help", says Regina Risen from Manchester, U.K. "Though I must admit I'm not a big fan of crusty Sourdough myself, the boys seemed to like it very much."

The group would have likely stayed lost except for the faint smell of smoke and musk reported by a small town 20 kilometers east of their location. "They were well outside the borders of the park", says Ranger Bo Hunkle. "But the smell was bad enough to lead us right to them. I really didn't need to know what they were cooking, to be perfectly honest."

The lost five plan to skip college in favor of publishing a survival cookbook with a follow up speaking tour. The book is tentatively titled, "Baking with Cheese".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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