Little Things Please Massive Mnds
The worlds smallest HGV has been built by Professor Mildred Nbongo at Teenytech Electronics Hull, a leading Nanotechnology Company in the field. The sub-atomic sized miniature lorry complete with articulated cab, tiny silver bumpers (front and re...
Read full storyManchester United boss hands trophy to Liverpool's Rafa Benitez
Manchester United Boss, Sir Alex of Ferguson, literally handed the Premiership trophy over to Liverpool head-honcho Rafael Benitez today in what was said by some to be "confusing". United were said to be cruising to yet another title before Liverp...
Read full storyResident Evil 5 contains "hot coffee" bug, digital boobs exposed
Shock spoof news today as legendary games maker Capcome issued several writs and warnings about exposing the latest revulsion in in-game sexual content, available as hacks to the original game, Resident Evil 5. In what can only be seen as a blatan...
Read full storyElvis Memorabilia To Be Auctioned Online
Elvis memorabilia will go on sale tomorrow in what has been described as the 'largest auction of its kind'. The online auction house W.C. Crapp and Sons are very exited about the event. "Elvis is still the King. We expect to have a record number of b...
Read full storyBrown signs for Honda
Great Britain's Dynamic Prime Minister says he'll quit post soon to join up with the newly invigorated Honda F1 team as their new driver. He informed the House that he'll be flying out on full fare economy for pre season testing in Australia.
Read full storyJade Goody Unable To Receive Shilpa Shetty Due To 'Racism Issues'
Jade Goody is too unwell to receive a visit from her Celebrity Big Brother rival, the beautiful Indian actress Shilpa Shetty, her public cyst Max Cash has said. The Bollywood film star had hoped to visit her terminally-ill protagonist this week,...
Read full storyBob Dylan's Toilet Blowing In The Neighbor's Wind
Trouble may be "blowing in the wind" in Malibu, where a couple is accusing their neighbor, Bob Dylan, of permanently parking a stinking portable potty next to their mutual property line. In a letter to the editor published by the Malibu Surfside N...
Read full storyImmigrants Get Everything
Contrary to popular belief immigrants are far better off than good old native scroungers of this great country of ours. Yesterday I spoke to one example, Mohamad Zeep, who told me through an interpeter that he came here from Iraq three months ago and...
Read full storyW. vs Osama "The Suicide Bomb'a" At WrestleMania!
Only days after Osama Bin Laden Challenged George W. Bush to a hardcore match at the upcoming WestleMania, Bush has an official response. "I accept your challenge Mr. Bin Laden. " . The WWE has the fight of a life time in which it is in the proces...
Read full storyNew homes plans for London
Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, has announced a massive building programme of 'prefabs', the post-war temporary housing solution, to allieviate London's chronic housing shortage. The prefabs are already built and are sitting on a site outside Pet...
Read full storyRangers F.C. change their name to Glasgow Rangers F.C.
One of the oldest and most successful football clubs in the world, Rangers F.C., today changed their name to Glasgow Rangers F.C.. This follows confusion amongst people that know nothing about football, nothing about Scotland, and nothing about much...
Read full story"Below Decks" Writer/Captain Signs on as Guest Speaker for July QM2 Crossing
Portsmouth, England/ Shipping & Cruising News - A publicist for Spoof Writer, Morse, announced today the booking of the satirical Spoofist as featured speaker on an upcoming transatlantic crossing where he would be discussing behind the scenes d...
Read full storyTen-Foot Tall Creature Spotted Near Green Booger River
It has come to the attention of the Boogertown Banner that there is an unknown 10 foot tall creature lurking down by the Green Booger River. Former marina owner Roger Willco Evans who asked not to be quoted stated, "Yeah, the thing scared me so...
Read full storyFritzl Pleads 'Norman Bates' Defence In Court, Then Goes Off On One
Austria - There was consternation today as Austrian weirdo and sexual pervert, Josef Fritzl appeared in court to face charges of murder, incest, and rape. Fritzl, 74, made his way into the courtroom holding a loose leaf folder over his face, which...
Read full storyEngland For Sale
England has been put up for sale. Its current owners Liz and Phil are planning to retire to Greece and have decided to cash in. They did have an option of leaving England to their children to run, but the current economic crisis has made that unlikel...
Read full storyHowdy Doody In Nursing Home, Cracking Jokes, Cracking
Howdy Doody, the lovable star of the Howdy Doody Show in the early years of television is now in a nursing home in Los Angeles. "Talk about your Viagra's four hours, how'd you like to be stiff for 70 years?" stated the lovable wooden clown. "See,...
Read full storyMadonna Having 'A Bit Of Trouble' Below Decks
Squillionairess, superstar, mistress of reinvention and children's book writer Madonna was reportedly today in a state of extreme frustration resulting from the very real reality that not one single individual has as yet championed her for a part in...
Read full storyMP's Pension Fund to Join Class Action Against RBS
As several local authority pension schemes added their support to the class action lawsuit being brought against RBS in the US by Cherie Booth QC (Tony Blair's wife), it became apparent that the MP's own pension fund wants in on the action. The cl...
Read full storyChris Tarrant Arrested At Home
Police have revealed that they arrested Chris Tarrant at his home earlier today following a complaint of domestic violence. Police were called by an anonymous source following reports of an argument. The television celebrity was arrested and taken...
Read full storyMadonna To Adopt Malawi
Madonna the singer, actress, celebrity and neo-fascist is planning to adopt the country of Malawi, it was reported earlier today. In a controversial move the star is to pay a huge and disgusting amount of cash to take the entire population away from...
Read full storyBritney Spears Concerned About Beard Growth
Hit me baby one more time! Ouch!!! - Reports coming out of Hollywood seem to suggest that Britney Spears is growing a beard. Louisianan Spears has recently been criticised for dressing up as a belly dancer in her shows, and having a belly. "She's...
Read full storyChina judokas 'faked their rage'
WONGDONG, China - Bone-aspartame tests on judokas in south China have shown that thousands had faked their rage, often in order to keep competing in judo events. Tests on nearly 13,000 judokas found that more than 3,000 were nicer than their appar...
Read full storyCharles Follows In Darwin's Footsteps
Prince Charles has arrived in the Galapagos Islands during his world tour. He is expected to visit Lonesome George. A slow-moving depressed individual with no apparent purpose to live and nothing to look forward to, Charles will spend time with the g...
Read full storyTragic Relief Total Hits £5-89
After yesterday's 112th Tragic Relief event, held in the living room of Mrs Victoria Scrooge-Mills's house in West Cheam, it was announced that a whopping £5-89 had been raised, to help charity admin clerks and to pay for celebrities to go on free ho...
Read full storyTokyo Saint Patrick's Day Parade A Success
The annual Saint Patricks day parade took place here in Tokyo at the weekend and was regarded by experienced observers as an unqualified success. Hundreds of Japanese-Irish dressed themselves in outlandish green outfits and paraded through the street...
Read full story'Goody-bye England's Woes' plea as Elton John does a runner
London - (Last Frights Mess): Despite weeks of frenetic PR cajoling to play his seminal 'Goody-bye England's Woes' tribute at Jade Goody's forthcoming reality tv funeral Elton John has mysteriously vanished. The entertainer had been offered a £££...
Read full storySpots Knocked Off Leopard
A leopard who was feeling a bit peckish made a serious error of judgement yesterday when he ventured from his forest home into the outskirts of Indian city Jyotikuchi in Guwahati, north-east India, hunting for a snack. Upon being spotted by locals...
Read full storyNFL Team Demands Their Team Be Destroyed from the Inside!
Buffalo - The Buffalo Bills have acquired controversial Wide Receiver Terrell Owens from the San Francisco 49ers, Philadelphia Eagles, Dallas Cowboys. "I hope you didn't let that Popcorn get stale," says T.O about his move to the Bills. Although...
Read full storyJacko Shows Postponed
Michael Jackson's forthcoming appearances at London's O2 Arena have been put on hold due to recent death threats received from an obscure anti-racism faction. BAD (Blacks Against Discrimination) claim that Jackson is little more than a modern day...
Read full storyA Goody waste of space
Jade Goody, half human half Alsatian has made the headlines again for no apparent reason other than the fact she is dying from cancer. In hospitals and care homes across Britain people who have lived fulfilling lives are in the same predicament. With...
Read full storyAshley In Another Bird Bust-up
Troubled Chelsea and England defender Ashley Cole has been arrested again after violence flared at a pet shop in Esher on Monday morning. Police were called to Val's Pet Emporium near the High Street after Cole took offence to comments made by an...
Read full story'Mother groomed me into what I am today!' fetid incest nutter Fritz tells judge
Amstetten, Austria - (Sordid Third Reich Mess): "Ja, Eva Braun was my mother and taught me all the dark arts a man could ever need," Austrian dungeon master Joseph Fritzl told the judge today. A hushed courtroom then heard how that Fritzl used Ber...
Read full storyTrain Nerds indentified as terror threat
Train spotters are to be banned from all major stations along the East Coast route as the result of a clampdown from National Express. A spokeswoman for the Transport Salaried Staff Association said "We know NX are planning this move. The informatio...
Read full storyJosef Fritzl Nonchalant At Court Appearance
Josef Fritzl, the Austrian Bunker King, who kept his daughter in a cellar under his home for 24 years whilst he fathered children with her, appeared in court today in St Poelten, accused of murder, rape and incest, but displayed an air of seeming non...
Read full storyWhen the Dusk Fell, Part 1
Standing on the edge of the plateau, one could see, way down, a dirt road going round the perimeter of a horseshoe-shaped elevation. The pale yellow road could be accessed, on foot, from either side of the plateau. On this plateau, stood a tent, invisible to occasional transportations or wayfarers. The old threadbare tent was set up near a very narrow slow-flowing spring, the precious drops of...
Read full storyNation's Capitol Quarantined As HIV Rates "higher than Urganda & Kenya" - Politicians Flee!
Washington,DC/ Report from the Surgeon General/Urgent! - President Obama declared a state of emergency today and imposed martial law after D.C. Health Officials stated the HIV/AIDS rate was 3% of the population and climbing. All approaches to the...
Read full storyGreetings card company to create Jade Goody Day
Greeting Cards maker Mallhark have decided to create a new day in honour and blessing of the miraculously wonderful Jade Goody. The cards, recycled from magazines such as Now!, Look! and Wowzers!, are likely to be on sale within the next few weeks.
Read full storyLottery To Become Compulsory
The Government has today announced that taking part in the National Lottery is to become compulsory with immediate effect. The announcement follows on from the revelation that fully half of the Lottery's 'Good Causes' funding now goes on Health, E...
Read full storyGazza 'A Zombie'
Former football legend and renowned boozehound Paul Gascoigne has revealed that he is now an undead zombie walking the land, following repeated deaths while in rehab for his alcohol problems. The troubled star, who scored hundreds more pints than...
Read full storyFerry Crossings Face New Tax Increase
The Government has announced that ferry travel to Europe is to be subject to a minimum charge of £250, in order to prevent binge-drinking and promote public health. The change was announced this morning by Business Secretary Dark Lord Mandelson, a...
Read full storyPrince Charles in Secret Galapagos Meeting with Corrie's Gail
Cock-headed paparazzi pimp, Darryn Lyons has revealed startling photographs of the Prince of Wales during a secret 'love-in' with Coronation Street's Gail Hillman on the Galapagos Islands. The photographs, which are expected to net Lyons more than...
Read full storyManchester United Helpline Number
After Saturday's humiliation at the hands of their arch-rivals and fellow title contenders Liverpool, bosses at Old Trafford have acted swiftly to support grieving Manchester United fans as they struggle to come to terms with United's most embarrassi...
Read full storyThe 2009 Mini-Ini - The World's Smallest Car
BANGKOK, Thailand - The Thailand Automobile Corporation based just outside of Bangkok has manufactured a brand new car that makes a Mini Cooper seem like a Hummer The automobile is the Mini-Ini. It gets 127 miles to the gallon and you will never...
Read full storyFemale Orgasm: A Myth
As illusory as an infant's smile and harder to duplicate than a lightning strike, men have tortured themselves and suffered persecution from others for their inability to make their lady love COME. Apparently a San Francisco cult has been established...
Read full storyParliament Refuses to Punish England's drunken majority
The United Kingdom's Chief medical Officer is worried about the increasing consumption of booze in Britain. Sir T. Temperance Totaller proposes that the cost of getting blottoed be doubled in the UK. Parliamentarians yelled and screamed simult...
Read full storyBritish Torture Implements Discovered
Evidence of British collusion in the Bush-Cheney Dungeon of torture has been emerging time and again to the shame and humiliation of birthplace of the Magna Carta, obsolete monarchs and a Parliament so democratic that everyone shouts and screams at t...
Read full storyPope Moves Vatican to Africa
The once radical Jesus movement attracted followers and created enemies because of its progressive views concerning human dignity, women's rights and social justice. The cosmopolitan city of Rome became a center in the new worldview. And it cam...
Read full storySpoof Writer Given Severe Reprimand By Site Administrators
An unnamed writer for TheSpoof.com was today issued with the sternest warning available to site administrators. The Spoof writer was accused of pandering for points by inviting readers to view stories featuring Hollywood teen idols whom he had nev...
Read full storyBelow Decks Chapter Fourteen - The French Letter
Recap: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen Captain Morse stumbled on deck shivering and murmured something about being lost on an iceberg with a monkey, "Sounds like another miasmic fantasy brought on by the quinine" Dr. Vic deduc...
Read full storyLong Time London Insurance Company Employee Retires
London UK: Alfred Doolittle retired today from his long time facility maintenance and janitorial job at Sliedley Insurance Underwriters of London. "Alfie" as he is known had been with this insurance giant for 25 years. At his retirement party Alf...
Read full storyDean Windass To Be Next Hull City Manager? Or Not?
One of the above statements is true. Which one? Well, the answer to that little poser became a little nearer to being answered today, when the veteran Hull City player was recalled to the KC Stadium from his loan spell with Oldham Athletic only ho...
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