Immigrants Get Everything

Funny story written by Miko

Monday, 16 March 2009

Contrary to popular belief immigrants are far better off than good old native scroungers of this great country of ours. Yesterday I spoke to one example, Mohamad Zeep, who told me through an interpeter that he came here from Iraq three months ago and has claimed and received the following AMAZING benefits:

Free Housing (luxury docklands penthouse flat with all mod cons). Free Mobilty Scooter, Car and Caravanette with One Years Free Fuel. Lifetime pension of £756 per week plus free £230 a day food allowance. Free Season ticket to Wigan Athletic FC. Twenty crates of Dom Perignon, 250 cigars, open ended clothing allowance to shop free of charge at a selection of 25 upmarket stores in London, including Harrods.

I was also stunned to hear that Mohamad, who looks a cross between Omar Sharif and Fred Flintstone, had two weeks earlier secretly wed an ex-member of the royal family after befriending Prince Chrales at a recent polo event that he had received a free invitation to by an undiclosed member of the labour party.

Now i'm not one to cast aspersions, but these bloody foreigners seem to get everything handed to them on a silver platter. I'm not a racist but I think they should put them all on the next boat back to where they came from and sod the expense. Australias nice, why don't they shove off there!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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