Cock-headed paparazzi pimp, Darryn Lyons has revealed startling photographs of the Prince of Wales during a secret 'love-in' with Coronation Street's Gail Hillman on the Galapagos Islands.
The photographs, which are expected to net Lyons more than $1.5, show Charles, who will be called George when he becomes king, reclined on a sunlounger, while a small, wrinkly-necked creature with no chin and round shoulders, sucks his toes.
Lyon's, who is said to be 'made-up' with the exclusive, told reporters "It was an incredible piece of luck. When we saw the pictures at first we thought it must be 'Lonesome George', the last surviving Galapagos Tortoise" he explained. "I must say we thought it was a little bit dodgy that the future King was allowing an 80 year old reptile, who's never had sex, to nibble at his feet."
Lyons added that on closer inspection it was obvious that the creature's neck was far too wrinkled to be a tortoise and it had no chin at all so there was only one other conclusion he could draw. "Anyway, one of the lads was able to confirm that it was Gail, because she'd given him a tit wank in Ibiza"
Gail was unavailable for comment today, but Corrie colleague Deirdre Barlow told reporters "I think it's disgusting, a woman with a neck like that shouldn't be seen in public without a polo neck."
Buckingham Palace officials refused to comment on speculation that The Prince of Wales' well publicised visit to the Galapagos Islands was 'nothing more than a cover-up' to allow him to spend some quality time with the veteran soap superstar, but hinted that Charles has been looking for a mistress for some time "with no teeth, who can give him a good blow job."
