Lottery To Become Compulsory

Funny story written by Dungeekin

Monday, 16 March 2009

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The Government has today announced that taking part in the National Lottery is to become compulsory with immediate effect.

The announcement follows on from the revelation that fully half of the Lottery's 'Good Causes' funding now goes on Health, Education and the Environment.

Multimillionaire Culture Secretary Barbara Follet said that the move, which will require all those over the age of 16 to purchase two tickets for both the Saturday and midweek draws, was "a vital step to re-energise the economy". High earners, defined by a new Government method to include anyone not on benefits, are to be required to purchase five tickets per draw.

Mrs Follett pointed out that using the Lottery funds to provide services that should be handled through general taxation was an excellent method of covering Government waste, and added further tax revenue to the pot without increasing the official tax burden.

However, she added, "it's not really a tax, as there's a 1 in 14 million chance of you getting it back".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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