Written by Pointer

Monday, 16 March 2009

image for British Torture Implements Discovered
Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition with their calamares frito

Evidence of British collusion in the Bush-Cheney Dungeon of torture has been emerging time and again to the shame and humiliation of birthplace of the Magna Carta, obsolete monarchs and a Parliament so democratic that everyone shouts and screams at the same time.

The latest embarrassment involves the discovery of a veritable treasure trove of UK implements of torture. Many of the sadistic devices date back long before the Bush-Blair terrible war on terror. The iron maiden seems to be an ancient enclosure that forced the victim to listen to second rate rock music. The thumb screw is thought to have required the prisoner to literally screw another inmate with his thumb. It is believed that this is still practiced in US and UK prisons and certain London bars.

The torture devices that have relevance to recent disgraceful examples of torment were the rack and the comfy chair.

Some British military undercover agent dressed in flowing red robes is said by his victims to have made surprising entrances to cacophonous faux suspense music. He then would scream some unintelligible nonsense about some Spanish inquisition, thought to be a particularly distasteful taps. The cross dressing corporal would then tie dish racks to the victim and therust them into overstuffed chairs while cackling more nonsense reminiscent of Parliamentary debates.

Presently British authorities deny the whole thing with the exception of certain transvestite MP's and their affinity for red dresses and nonsense.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: torture

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
50 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more