Police have revealed that they arrested Chris Tarrant at his home earlier today following a complaint of domestic violence.
Police were called by an anonymous source following reports of an argument. The television celebrity was arrested and taken to Claygate police station for questioning.
And at the station the following questions were asked:
You have attacked a woman who claims you beat her. Is she:
A. Your ex-wife B. The woman named in the divorce proceedings
C. Another of your girlfriends D. The phantom pie thrower from Tiswas
You are looking at falling ratings and a dried up career. Do you:
A. Retire gracefully B. Retire ungracefully
C. Try to bleed as much money as you can from the tired old vehicle you have been with for years D. Beat a woman up during a drunken bout of depression
The options open are:
Ask the audience. 12 members will be in place to give their verdict.
50/50: Pay a big fine
Phone a lawyer: Better do that now.
