Writer charged with defamation
A Spoof writer was today appearing in Belfast Crown Court, charged with defamation. For legal reasons we cannot repeat the details involved in the case, but basically the writer wrote an article satirising one of Northern Ireland's leading politician...
Read full storySporting Lisbon Pay Heavy Price For Turning Up Late
There was real drama in Munich last night, when Portuguese champions, Sporting Lisbon, arrived late for their Champions League match with Bayern München at the Allianz Arena, after 'delays' on the way to the game. The Lisbon team didn't arrive at...
Read full storyMystery Woman In Rihanna/Brown Case Revealed
The Lady who triggered the fight that left Rihanna battered and bruised and Chris Brown an accused felon -- is either Brown's manager, Tina Davis or Whoopi Goldberg, according to a source who is usually correct according to many gossip websites. T...
Read full storyNo Smoking Day Cancelled
There was disappointment amongst anti-smoking lobbyists tonight, when it was revealed that this year's No Smoking Day had been cancelled after a fire at the campaign's headquarters in London. No Smoking Day is an event habitually held every year,...
Read full storyTerrorist Groups Still Active In Northern Ireland
Security forces have revealed details of the following terrorist groups still active in Northern Ireland: The Real IRA The Continuity IRA The Really Continuous IRA The Continually Real IRA The Ulster Freedom Movement The Free Ulster Movement The Movement For A Free Ulster The National Irish Democratic Movement The Democratic Irish National Movement The Real Ulster Progressive Movement...
Read full storyRock Throwing Chimp Proves Apes Can Throw Rocks
Scientists believe that they have made a major breakthrough in evolutionary studies. They studied the behavior of a chimpanzee in London zoo. By surrounding him with jeering teenagers they were able to coax the chimp into a reaction. He promptly thro...
Read full storyGeorgia Told: Revise Eurovision Entry Or 'Face Consequences'
Georgia has been told to revise its Eurovision Song Contest Entry following protests from inside the Kremlin. The competition is due to take place in Moscow and worried officials are desperate not to upset the democratically elected and hugely popula...
Read full storyJets 2008 Season Re-cap
The New York Jets made big moves this off-season. After a 4-12 season they had to and they did so in the draft and free agency. They traded multiple draft picks to move up two spots to draft a tight end from Purdue who was going to be on the board regardless. Avid fan & NY local, Paulie Walnuts had this to say. "Forget about it! What the fuck are they trading up for when this douche bag wo...
Read full storyBreast Model Sues Her Plastic Surgeon
OTTAWA, Canada - One of the most famous breast models in Canada, Quintessa Saginaw, 29, has sued her plastic surgeon Dr. Pierre Takabuki. Ms. Saginaw says that she went in for a simple breast augmentation and when she came out of the operating roo...
Read full storyI See London, I See France, I See China's Underpants!
ZHANGYIGANG VILLAGE, CHINA - Citizens of this small costal Chinese village are furious over what they say are the voyeuristic habits of American service personal on United States naval ships sailing just off their shore. There have even been claims t...
Read full storyMexico Cancels Spring Break
MEXICO CITY - The Mexican Senate has voted to cancel this year's spring break. They said that they are taking the measure because of the sorry state of the American economy. Senator Alfredo Refried-Valdez of the state of Yucatan said, "With Americ...
Read full storyLimbaugh's Own: Fromunda Cheese that's Not Just for Hannity Anymore
New York, NY -- Dittoheads the nation over are celebrating the new-found popularity of Limbaugh's Own, the brand name of Rush Limbaugh's very own blend of fromunda cheeses intended for mass consumption. "For years, I thought I was all alone," one...
Read full storyStone-Throwing Chimp a Hoax
The Stockholm zoo that boasted of having a rock-hoarding and rock-throwing chimp has confessed to perpetrating a hoax. The chimp, the zoo finally revealed, is really a human dwarf dressed up like a chimp. "I still think we should get credit for p...
Read full storySacramento's Tent City to Promote Tourism
In an effort to shed the negative connotations of shanty-dwelling, Tent City has incorporated and is in the progress of establishing a Chamber of Commerce. "We're trying to establish a system of trade here," Said Floyd "Bud" Smucker, "so far we ha...
Read full storyBig 3 Arrive At Economic Solution
An unnamed source at Chrysler LLC disclosed that they, as well as Ford and GM, had a solution to their economic woes. "The answer is mind-bogglingly simple. We have seven million illegal immigrants taking jobs in our country while we have ten mil...
Read full storyFriday the 13th fears for Queen's Gold Cup whorse
Cheltenham - (Equine Ass Mess): The Queen has been warned about the perils of running her top equine vanity project the 16-1 Cheltenham Gold Cup contender Barbers Slop this Friday the 13th of March. Palace racing advisers fear the seven year-old w...
Read full storyBritney Flashing Her "Stuff" Again!
Britney Spears flashed a little more than she wanted during her bump-and-grinding CIRCUS Performance in Tampa, Florida. Apparently taking over for Siegfried & Roy's "Big Cat" performance, she complained ON MIKE about her wardrobe: "MY P***Y w...
Read full storyOprah To Help Rihanna, Brown
Oprah won't actually be interviewing Rihanna this week, but the 21-year-old star's presence will be felt. The daytime queen, who last week advised Rihanna and boyfriend Chris Brown to seek counseling, plans to devote this Thursday's episode of the...
Read full storySpoof orgy story shook Mosley dignity
London - (Lurid Ass Mess): Sordid S&M nutter Max Mosley has complained to a House of Commons Selective Committee on Humbug and Cover-Ups about losing his dignity after a series of satirical stories about his disgusting sex life laid him low in pu...
Read full storyFat Duck restaurateur accuses Charles of detox quackery
Berkshire - (Toxic Ass Mess): Triple Michelin-starred Fat Duck restaurateur Heston Services Blue-Mental has accused Prince Charles' Duchy Originals range of detox remedies of outright quackery. The complaint follows the closure of the Berkshire ea...
Read full storyNew illness of Brown Nausea discovered
In Washington DC today, medical experts announced the discovery of what they termed Brown Nausea. 'We had suspected the existence of Brown Nausea for a while', Dr. Spock Illogicus said, ' but only proved it was a real ailment when the British Prim...
Read full storyDead up in arms over DWP underpayments
Some of the dead people who have received over £73 million in benefits from the DWP (Department for Work and Pensions) during 2008 are up in arms upon hearing that their entitlements weren't index linked to inflation. It appears that Mrs Letitia M...
Read full storyObama ends cell stem funding ban for Republican Presidents
US President Barack Obama has lifted restrictions on federal funding, for research on new stem cell lines in Republican Presidents. Ex-President George W Bush blocked the use of government money to fund research, saying 'Heck, I don't want no medi...
Read full storyMadonna's latest adoption attempt ends in failure
World famous singer and entertainer Madonna's well publicised attempt to adopt 18 month old Angsangammillik from her Innuit family in north western Greenland have ended in failure. A source close to Madonna told me, "Madonna is totally devastated...
Read full storyGary Coleman to reveal the secrets of eternal youth
78 year old method actor Gary Coleman is to auction the secrets to eternal youth to the highest bidder. The 80's superstar has fallen on hard times after investing the last of his royalty cheques from his show 'Different Strokes' in the stricken A...
Read full storyIRS to Audit Lemonade Stand
Young Courtney Ashland and Sarah Pinkerton are finally having their 2 year friendship challenged has they received grim news from their parent. The IRS states that they plan to audit the summer lemonade stand that kids started in May to September of...
Read full storyJade "Goody Bags" available soon
In what is being greeted as another brilliant marketing ploy,Jade Goody's name will be immortalised in a new line of confectionery the day after she dies. "C"lebrity Jade's PR team announced, at a press conference yesterday, an exciting new range...
Read full storyTerror At The Dome
The Dome in London's Docklands was evacuated and sealed off by Scotland Yard's anti-terror squad yesterday following reports of plastic explosives scattered throughout the venue. The all-clear was given four hours later when detailed forensic exam...
Read full storyBill Clinton, Master Of Lowering Balls, To Help Bloomberg Again Next Year
New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg has announced that Bill Clinton will have the honor of pushing the button that lowers the Times Square New Year's Eve Ball again next New Year's Eve. According to CBS News, next year's ball "could once again double th...
Read full storyReal IRA "trapped in the 80s"
A leading political analyst in Northern Ireland, Dr Gerry McGuinness, has described the Real IRA as "trapped in the 80s", following a string of murders made by the retarded group. He said, "They don't seem to be aware of the peace process at all.
Read full storyRepublicans Search For A New Reagan
The Republicans are desperately searching for new leadership. After Bush won two elections, they thought they had the perfect leader, one who could fool all the people all the time, or at least the ones with the votes and the money that counted. But towards the end he not only rocked the boat but managed to sink it. "What about McCain?" mused Pate Riat, chairman for the Republican Search...
Read full storyPresident Obama's speech on the economy
'My fellow Americans, this is it, here we are, now is now. In effect this is the time for all good men, all good women, all good children, all good pet goldfishes to move forward to a new America, a new future, a new beginning. We must change with the times, changes must change with the times, not a second more or less will be wasted in our efforts to turn the future back from the past into tomorr...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse Court Hearing A Circus
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Coachella Festival A spokesman for Amy Winehouse says the singer won't perform in the United States next month, as had been planned. Attorney Chris Goodman said Monday that Winehouse isn't going to the C...
Read full story2009 To Be The Last Year For Just Over 900 Years To Have Two Zeros In The Middle Of It
"2009 is a great year to be alive!" Those were the immortal words spoken for posterity by First Black US President Barack Obama earlier today during a landmark speech in which he correctly identified that the current year, 2009, will probably be...
Read full storyScientists unleash created life into ecoshpere
NIGERIA- At an undisclosed lab deep in the jungle a horror has been unleashed. Dr. Braindeath, our reliable, but discreet source at the lab, let us know that a bacteria, similar to the one producing the precursors of aspartame, has been created that...
Read full storyWhen one Peso equals one US Dollar
MEXICO CITY - The people of the city crowd around the T.V set, watching the decline of the Dollar. They know that once the Peso equals the Dollar, they can vacation in America in style. In Mexico, unlike in America, the news is out. The softenin...
Read full storyRush Mounts Ann's Coulter: I'll Break This Bronco
Just as Rush Smelly Limberger was about to ascend to the throne of the big fat face of the failing Republicant Party, politico Ho Anne Coulter created one of her infamous disturbances. Rush never one to be upstaged, threw a saddle on the blonde p...
Read full storyChinese Shove their Junk in the US Navy's Face
The South China Sea became the setting for a naval confrontation reminiscent of Admiral nelson and the battle of Trafalgar which once and for all settled the British possession of the square by the same name. This time the major players appeared to b...
Read full storyBarbie celebrates her 50th birthday by getting a belly ring, a tongue stud and a tattoo
Bangkok, Thailand - Barbie got the ultimate accessories today: a belly ring, a tongue stud and a tattoo It was all to commemorate her turning fifty, which she did not take as well as many had hoped. "I'm tired of being a corporate clone. Working...
Read full storyBaltimore Not to Ban Plastic Bags, Considers a DNA Data Base
Baltimore MD: The Baltimore City Council had considered a resolution to ban the use of plastic supermarket bags. Activists had proposed substitutes, such as paper bags, reusing existing bags or a city tax of five cents per plastic bag. Bowing to...
Read full storyBelow Decks: Chapter Seven - Roy 'Ship for Brains' Turse raises the Jolly Roger
Recap: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six Previously on Below Decks… The Frigate Buggerall has set sail from Bristol Harbour, its five year mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life, and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before in a leaky boat. A motley collection of crew members has been assembled unde...
Read full storyBelow Decks: Chapter Seven - Roy 'Ship for Brains' Turse raises the Jolly Roger
Recap: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six Previously on Below Decks… The Frigate Buggerall has set sail from Bristol Harbour, its five year mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life, and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before in a leaky boat. A motley collection of crew members has been assembled unde...
Read full story