Berkshire - (Toxic Ass Mess): Triple Michelin-starred Fat Duck restaurateur Heston Services Blue-Mental has accused Prince Charles' Duchy Originals range of detox remedies of outright quackery.
The complaint follows the closure of the Berkshire eatery following a mass outbreak of spontaneous projectile vomiting syndrome.
Last week Charles sent Heston's beleaguered diners samples of his wholesome Duchy Herbals' Detox Tincture.
But the £50-a-pop remedy turned out to be fecal matter suspended in scummy water siphoned off from the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain in London's Hype Park.
Dr V Smart, Emeritius Professor of Civil List Parasitology said today:
"WTF?"
Gorgon Brown is a lame duck Prime Monster.
