Gary Coleman to reveal the secrets of eternal youth

Funny story written by carlito

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

image for Gary Coleman to reveal the secrets of eternal youth
Coleman and Kate Winslet at the Oscars

78 year old method actor Gary Coleman is to auction the secrets to eternal youth to the highest bidder.

The 80's superstar has fallen on hard times after investing the last of his royalty cheques from his show 'Different Strokes' in the stricken AIG and is now looking at raising around $1million to help pay for the education of his grandson - the American Gothic lead Gary Cole.

The secrets are kept in a vault in the Neverland Ranch and are due to be transported by armed motorcade to EBay headquarters in New York any day now.

Patricia Field 96, Karl Lagerfeld 85 and Madonna who is 68 are said to be "very interested" in bidding for Coleman's elixir - which is in the form of a recipe book.

Sceptics, medics as well as sceptical medics are not convinced such a miracle exists. Many attribute the fact the star looks the same now as when he started on the racist show aged two to the fact his parents stole his earnings and he was unable - unlike so many black actors of his generation - to spend his money on things that can prematurely age a person such as ho's, crack and crack ho's.

Coleman's parents, who are now dead, always denied stealing money from their son. They insisted it was held in a trust fund until Coleman was 18 but they were never actually able to tell when he reached adulthood.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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