Following on from his admission that he didn't know what chino's were, former UK Deputy PM John Prescott has confessed today that he had never heard of the word "work" either, had no idea what it meant, and, upon being given a definition, said that he was "...greatly pleased that I have had a bloody good life without having to do any of that, thank you very much...lad"
Prescott, 112, was being questioned by reporters outside one of his Belgravia mansions on the day he took delivery of a 400 metre super yacht, "Champagne II", which is to be permanently moored in Monaco. Entertaining the press entourage on oysters, a 1787 Chateau Lafite ("...got loads of the bloody things hanging around place...") and canapes laced with gold leafed chocolate, he further admitted that he thought that 'work' was probably something other people did, and, that if it hadn't been for "the bloody Tories", his time in Government would probably have seen the complete cessation of all work-related activities throughout the country, dedicating time and resources instead to fighting a steadily increasing number of pointless and costly wars throughout the globe.
Prescott, who once admitted to meeting God and telling Him to "f**k off" made a generous donation of an old pair of slippers and a croquet mallet to the designated charity who were featured at the conference, before departing to Monaco in a specially refurbished Concorde.
When questioned about Mr Prescott's revelations, Opposition Leader David Cameron, speaking from his secret headquarters on Saturn, said that any future Conservative Government would set up a specially commissioned "think tank", the purpose of which would be to "...hold meetings about meetings, brainstorm, think outside of the box, go the extra mile, see the bigger picture, and ultimately, become evolutionary, not revolutionary, before forgetting what the hell it is we are here for anyway and decide to break for a three week lunch..."